Sleep

One of my favorite subjects...sleep ;)

The boys have really cut down on napping.  C has been napping about once a week, N maybe twice a week, and L 3-4 times a week.  Part of the reason is that C's peapod was finally ripped beyond repair, so he could get out.  Part of the reason is because C and N decided to just start pooping in their diapers at naptime instead of on the potty, but that kept them up.  Part of the reason is because they are almost 3.  Z was done about this time as well.

I am kind of ok with it.  One day a few weeks ago I forced them to nap, and they were up til 845 that night, and up at 615 the next morning.  Noooo thank you.  So I haven't pushed it.  And they are not falling apart at night, which makes it bearable.  And they fall asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow at 730, so that is another huge bonus.  But I do miss my quiet afternoons.   

I am kind of looking forward to not "having" to have naptime.  This will be the first time in six years that 1-3pm is not guaranteed home time.  It will be fun to do stuff in the afternoon IF and WHEN we (I) want to. 

Along these lines, we have started to think about what we're going to do with the boys room.  Z is very excited to share a room with the boys, and we're on board with that.  We are going to get 2 sets of bunk beds and put them in the littles room, then turn Z's room into a craft/lego room.  That is coming in the next month or so. 

In a few weeks, though, they are all going to spend the weekend at Mike and Dorothy's while I go out for a girls weekend and Nate will get the house to himself.  I decided I had better wean them from the tents before then (since C's was already broken and L's just broke for good Saturday).  That way they would have a bit of "practice" before going out of town, then a bit more practice before they got the bunks. 

So Sunday I took them down.  And threw them in the trash.  They literally saved my sanity.  For real.  I would have bought them again in a heartbeat.  Anyway. 

At naptime, we put L in our room (most likely to sleep if he needs it), C in Z's room (he had already done this a few times) and left N in their room (he wasn't too happy).  The past few days C and L napped for about an hour (they're also sick) but N has opted not to nap (which is totally ok with me too). 

I was hoping they would do ok at bedtime, and have been doing fine...they are rockstars!  It helps that it is dark at 730 when we put them down and that they are sick and that they haven't taken long naps, but whatever.  They passed out in their own beds and I didn't have to go back there once.  THAT, my friends, is my goal.  I will happily (well, sort of happily) have them not take naps if they just pass out at bedtime. 

We'll see how it continues, but we're off to a good start! 

Sleep

I haven't talked much about sleep recently...I don't think at all since the failed toddler bed transition and highly successful peapod solution.

I haven't mentioned it because it is such a NON issue.  Those peapods literally saved my sanity.  The boys love them!  They often play in them during the day, with one or more in each tent.  They are fabulous at naptime, bedtime, and in the morning, because they can all see each other and talk to each other, but no one can actually bother anyone else.  The kids fall asleep on their own time (since they can sleep through about anything) and wake up when they are ready to as well.

At times, it is hilarious, because they will literally spend hours talking to each other in their beds.  We had a small group over here last week and the boys were put in bed at 720 (a bit early) but they were up and talking until at least 9.  They giggle, make noises, have conversations...I have no clue what else they do.  I heard C saying the other night, "L, N, my turn!  My turn!  I do it now!"  Um....ok?  I have no clue what they were talking about, if they were actually taking turns, or what they were taking turns doing...funny stuff. 

Sometimes at naptime they don't fall asleep for over an hour (and this is sometime all of them, sometimes only one or two...I can't always tell).  But they have such a good time!  And they (to date) have always eventually fallen asleep.  I still am prepared for them to stop napping in the next few months, and I am sure when we actually transition them out of the peapods they will stop napping entirely. 

In the morning it is wonderful, because they wake up when they are ready, and they are happy lying in their beds just chatting.  They sometimes (ok, most days) wake up much earlier than I ever get them up! 

Z has been sleeping well too...this morning I had to wake him up at 745.  A year ago we got him a bed lamp, so we put him to bed about 815, and then he will lie in there looking at books or catalogs, sometimes as late as 9. 

We are in a VERY good place sleepwise (hope I didn't just jinx us!).  Assuming the boys don't demolish the peapods before next summer (which is a big assumption), then we will put them in bunkbeds then.  We are seriously contemplating putting Z in the same bedroom with them, as well.  Not that we need the space, but it would be nice to have a sleep room and a play/craft room upstairs.  Since all of the boys sleep through anything, I think it would work.  We will just need to work on them staying IN their OWN beds...but that is a project for next summer! 

I have no words

Thankfully, this was after bath and before bed...not first thing in the morning or something! 

Peapods-a picture

Figured I should actually show you what the room looks like now:

They are anchored to the bed with eyehooks and carabeaners so that they don't roll them off and over and over like hamster balls. The zippers are held shut with pipe cleaners.  The shades are down on 2 sides so that they can't see each other, but they are open on the other 2, so they can see the walls.  And L is still in the pack n play at naptime and at bedtime until he falls asleep (he won't get out of bed in the morning, he is my lazybones!).  Think I'm going to buy a third...just looking for a used one, but will probably give up on that in the next week or so and just buy a new one.

MIA

You might or might not have noticed that I haven't blogged in a looong time.  At least for me. 
So where have I been?
Pretty much the bottom.  Here is the synopsis...sorry, it's long, that's what you get when I haven't blogged or written in almost 3 weeks. 

Here is how we started out the bed transition.  Here is where I shared the "new plan".

That plan worked, for awhile.  They didn't like having their blankets taken away, so they stayed in bed.  But then they stopped caring.  So we would take away a blanket, then give them a swat on the second time.  But they stopped caring.  I would take blankets away, give them back, take them away, swat, give them back, take them away, swat...repeat, repeat, repeat.

So there had to be a final punishment.  It ended up being the pack n play in our bedroom.  At that point they would fall asleep. 

But the other two were still in the room. 

A few weeks ago I just had to cave and put them each in a separate room...one in a pack n play in our room, one in a pack n play in Z's room, one in their own room.  This was just at naptime.  And it meant the end of quiet time for Z, since he was still spending 45 minutes or so reading and hanging out in his room when the boys were napping.  Not a happy mama. 

This whole time they were doing ok at bedtime.  Not stellar, but ok.  I never had to remove them to the pack n play...removing the blankets and swats did the trick. 

But it got worse and worse, culminating in this:  C was asleep (an hour and a half after I put them in bed) and N and L were not.  I heard C start crying like he was hurt, and went back to find N and L beside his bed.  I take them and move them back to their beds, and L says, "N bite."  "What?"  "N bite C." "N, did you bite C? (while he was in a DEAD SLEEP?!)".  "Yup."

NOT a happy mama. 

The next night was a repeat...C got bit twice (biting...a whole different story...). 
Something had to give.  I was a complete train wreck, the kids were too...

So I called a friend of mine with twins and got her peapod tents.  Now two of the kids are tented in at night.  We even had to make some changes...we had to use clips to attach them to their beds so that they don't move all over the room, we had to twist tie the zippers shut...  I was hoping to let the third kid sleep on his bed, but I have had to put him in a pack n play.  I am on the lookout for a third peapod.  (Anyone, anyone?)

So that is the main gist of it.  I was so at the end of my rope I couldn't even write about it.  I felt like a failure (because I couldn't "make" them stay in bed), I was ready to get "quit" being a mom, I was mad at them (because they were being bad "on purpose"), I was exhausted (kids finally sleeping at 9, up at 6, napping for maybe an hour and half, Z with no naptime), I was feeling guilty for being mad at the boys, I was resenting the fact that I had triplets, I was jealous of anyone who had just one kid to deal with, etc, etc etc.   

The kids were exhausted so were acting out...fighting was increasing, all I heard all day was something like this:  "Mine!" "No, my truck!" "No MIIIINE!" "MIIIIIIIINE" WHACK (which might have been a hand, a foot, or a hard toy on a head) or CHOMP (someone biting the arm/back/leg of another, resulting in toothmarks on all of my kids).  And this made me more and more mad at them, which made me more and more mad at MYSELF, because I KNEW it wasn't their fault, that they were just tired, but I still was mad at them...

And then I was dealing with Z.  We were kind of putting Z up on a pedestal...Oh, Z, he did so good with sleeping!  He was such a good boy!  Well, of course he was!  And when we separate the boys, they do fine as well.  But really, they are not even 2.5 years old yet...they don't have that kind of self control...by themselves in a room with 2 friends?  And I wasn't willing to sit in their room and stew at them as they fell asleep (which I still don't like the idea of).

I think I don't give them/myself enough credit for the fact that they are TRIPLETS.  I have three stinking two year olds running amuk in my house.  Three of them.  Got that?  THREE.  I think I expect it to be just like it was with Z...and it's not.  It is a whole different ballgame.

The other major problem for me is that I just don't know what to do.  Up until now I have had a pretty good idea of how to deal with them.  It might have been hard (get three kids bottles and fed at the exact same time with one big kid running around needing his rear end wiped while I'm the only one home), but I KNEW what to do.  Now I just don't know.  I am doing a lot of trial and error and it is mostly error.  Things like this:  C and N woke up early from a nap.  Do I wake up L (in the pack n play) also, so that he is "tired" at the same time at night, or do I let him sleep because he is exhausted?  If I let him sleep, will he be the one to keep the others up tonight?  What to do?  And not knowing what to do is hard for me.  I like to have a plan.  It has been hard for me to just kind of make it up as I go...and I think it has been hard on the boys too...kids need plan/schedule/order.  And this house has been anything but that.

Long story short, I am pretty sure this has been the hardest 5 weeks so far of having these kids.  That said, I am hopeful.  I have pulled out of the pit.  I think that these peapods will work.  At least they will sleep.  That doesn't mean that life will get easier...but if they at least can sleep....

Ok, and now on to a lot more posts...we actually have been very busy the past few weeks, and I have taken lots of pictures, and will now show you the happy side of life :)  Because really, it is happy!

New Plan

Sleep.  Again. 

I came to terms with the fact that my kids might and might not nap.  Before that, though, I emailed the girls in my multiples group for some advice on what to do about sleeping, beds, etc.  I got one very good piece of advice that helped me focus and come out of my stupor and frustration and exhaustion and figure out what I needed to do. 

The long and short of it was that I (and they) needed something concrete and measurable.  It is advice based on Love and Logic.  I needed to figure out what it was I wanted my kids to do, and what I would do if they didn't do it (what the consequence would be for them).  I KNOW this.  This is typically how I parent my kids.  But I was drowning and couldn't see this.

Luckily I got this piece of advice the day after I came to peace with my kids not sleeping, because I have learned that, sadly, you cannot force children to sleep, even when they need it. So here is what I decided to do. 

My kids MUST STAY IN/ON THEIR BED.  That is where my line is.  I don't care if they're jumping, screaming, laughing, reading, playing, crying, or sleeping.  But if they stay on their bed they can't mess with the other boys or wake them up, they can't fight, they can't pull doors off hinges, they can't slam fingers in doors. 

Per my friends suggestion, I tried taking them from the room and putting them in a pack n play in a different room if they got off of their bed.  That was ugly.  One was in the hall, one in the living room.  Not only was it a pain, it wasn't really effective because they can get out of the pack n play and just think that it's a fun new toy.  So I tried that for 2 days. 

The second day I realized that they WERE upset if I took away their blankets and pillows and animals.  So I have been doing that.  If they get out of bed, I take all that stuff.  They do NOT like that.  After 5 minutes or so I have been giving it back.  (I might stop that, though, once they get the cause/effect of it.  So maybe Tuesday I will start just taking them for the entire time...?) 

Anyway, it has been going ok.  I feel like they are starting to get it.  There is always one kid who understands each time, and I don't have to take blankets away from him, but it is a different kid each time.  :) 

The hardest part is that I want to train them to do this in the morning too, so that they're not fighting or waking each other up in the morning.  Saturday morning they woke up at 5:15.  SERIOUSLY.  7:00 is the typical getup time in our house.  Sunday was 5:45 (C both times).  I took a blanket and pillow and laid on their floor and dozed and took blankets away as necessary, but only once each morning.  I hope to keep in up for a few more days, but for the love, I want to end it sooooon! 

I have been able to be consistent with them because it is so easily measurable:  are they on their bed or not?  It is a bit harder when they get off a second time, after I have already taken their stuff away.  Then, they are normally screaming but I have been trying to praise the other kids a lot, which causes the offender to get back to bed.  It has been a lot of work, but I am hoping that since it is so clear cut (stay on your bed!!!!) that they will be able to learn how to do it. 

Not sure if this will work.  Praying, praying, praying it does.  If it does this will allow me to have quiet time for the next few years...even when they do stop napping, if they know to stay on their beds and read or play, but not get off, then maybe it will help...? 

That's my next step.  Will keep you posted :)

Precedence (aka why I blog)

In my sheer frustration last night about naps I checked back at my blog from when Z was the boys age.  I remembered holding him down to nap in September (when I was pregnant with they boys), and giving up entirely in December or January (when I was too pregnant to fight it).  But look what I found, written on April 11, 2008 at 2:15pm: 

Z and I have been fighting about naps. See, I like naps. He doesn't. He went a span of about 2 weeks and took only 3. He was a MESS at night (me too). Then he got back on track....Today, he is not napping. I have gone in who knows how many times, and gave him a swat for trying to get out of bed (you should have seen his face when he saw me come in, and he is half in/half out of the crib). 5 minutes ago I went in again, and what is that he is holding? Oh, his diaper. Trying not to laugh. Child. GO TO SLEEP!!!!! Now what do I hear? "Mama!! I wan get UP!" What fun.

There are several other posts along the same line over the next several months. 

Strangely, this gives me peace about the boys.  It is just how my kids work.  This is the amount of sleep they need to function (although it might not be pretty).  Most people will say that kids this age need about 13 hours (+/- an hour) of sleep in a 24 hour time frame.  The days they haven't napped they have passed out around 7 and slept til 7.  So if they nap every other or every third day, well, that is close to the average amount of sleep kids their age need. 

I am hoping that they will fall back into naps, and that they will be off and on for the next several months.  I am hoping that the next several months won't leave me gray or with no hair at all.  The main difference, of course, is that there are THREE of them fighting naps (and each other) in there.  With Z, I gave him books and toys to entertain himself.  Can't do that with these yahoos, who knows what sort of war might break out.  So that I will have to figure out.  But for the time being, I have an odd sort of calm about this nap fight.  It might be ugly for the next few months.  I will continue to be exhausted and frustrated and there will be lots of crying in this house (by all of us), but it will pass...I will try to end my saga of whining about exhausted kids, but I can't promise I will!    

Sidenote:  They didn't nap yesterday, this is what happened the day before, and now they're not napping.  I thought they were going to, since they are pretty tired, but maybe not...but I'm still hoping. 

Sleep (yes, again)

So, naptime/bedtime has not really gotten better.  2 days last week no one napped.  Bedtime (no, sleeptime) is now around 830-45.  Wake time is 630.  We put a gate in front of the door, which has helped (at least now no one can escape and they can still see out and not feel trapped).  The kids are not exactly adjusting to it...the 2 days after they napped they were zombies. 

This has been VERY hard on me (clearly, as attested by my other posts).  I like control.  I like kids who sleep.  I like to have 2 hours of quiet (more or less) in the afternoon to get stuff done (like clean my house and make dinner).  I like to be done before 845 at night.  I like to not just fall on the couch and stare at the TV at 845 because I am so physically and mentally exhausted from dealing with 3 tired 2 year olds.  I am not ready for them to give up naps.  

I have given this 2 weeks.  And I don't think it's getting better. 

Sidenote:  Here is what is going RIGHT NOW as I type:  the 2 kids who DIDN'T nap today just woke up the one who WAS napping, only 45 minutes into when he finally fell asleep.  UGHHHHHH.  And you want to know how?  Yes, I walked back there to find C and N just sitting and bouncing on L.  While he slept. Another sidenote:  before waking up L, C and N managed to yank on the door or something, resulting in them pulling the screws from the hinge out of the door.  REALLY?!  One more sidenote:  C had his foot on the top of the gate that I can barely straddle.  We might have to consider adding a top gate...

So where was I?  Oh, right...I don't think it's getting better.  It's not one kid who is causing the problem either.  They rotate.  I guess that is probably good for them ;)

I don't know what to do.  I don't want/can't really have them in separate rooms very easily.  I don't want to have to train each of them not to get into our stuff and Z's stuff if I put them each in separate bedrooms, because that might be harder.  I don't want to sit with them until they fall asleep, because it becomes such a game to them and my blood just boils, and I become a worse mom, and sometimes it doesn't even make them sleep.  And it is JUST because there are 3 of them.  If there was just one I think I could force naps a bit longer.  But there are 3.  I can't hold down 3 kids at once.  I think it boils down to the fact that I just need to accept it....but I don't know how. And I am not ready.  But I might not have a choice....

Funny

Here's a funny one: 

We have started to realize that the boys don't like the door shut at night.  After their initial (all last week) forays into the hallway (which resulted in the shut door), they have learned that lesson.  For the past few nights, we have left the door open with the warning that if they LEAVE the room we will shut the door (then open it again after a few minutes).   

The first night was fine.  No one left, they all fell asleep (miracle). 

Last night they tried a few more times.  I think we had to shut the door twice (in an hour and 15 minutes).  After the third time Nate went back and shut the door, the boys were screaming and wailing like usual.  We heard L's name a few times, but ignored it.  When Nate went back a few minutes later to open the door again, C and N were wailing and saying L's name.  He figured L was messing with them.  Turns out L isn't even IN the room.  After a search of the boys room, Nate looked in Z's room to find L just happily playing at Z's desk.  Apparently before Nate went back he had snuck out, into Z's room (who was sound asleep and under the covers hiding), and shut the door.

Sigh....
    

Meltdown

Yesterday I had a complete and total meltdown.  The kids were up around 615 (normally around 7).  Then naptime is where I fell apart. 

We went out last night (talk about bad timing) because someone had given us Brian Regan tickets, and we love him.  I asked Emily to watch the boys.  And the show was at 7.  You know, bedtime.  In the midst of bedtime hell.  Thursday I called the guy to bail on the tickets, but he convinced me to go anyway (and suggested that HE watch my kids if I would feel better, which I declined, I figured the kids at least knew Emily). 

This is one of the problems I have, good or bad.  I am a bit of a control freak, and I like to do things on my own, and I don't want to burden people, or "need" people to help me. See how this is a problem in so many ways?  I was this way before I even had the boys.  And now that I have the boys, well, they are a lot of work.  And while I trust people with my kids, I know it is a big job and a lot of work and quite honestly, pretty intimidating.  And I don't want them to fall apart on someone else (who wants 3 screaming kids?).  So I have pretty much managed to just have people watch them when it is "easy".  They are in bed already, or it is from 9-11 am where they just have to manage playtime, or it is during naptime and they're asleep.  No one has to deal with meals or bedtime or anything else.  Just play with my kids or sit in a quiet house and make sure it doesn't burn down.  Yes, this has made it difficult for us to go out, but I figure there is a time eventually when we can go out on our own, in a few years or so.  But times do come up (like this) where I just want to go out. 

So, naptime.  I was a bit manic about the fact that the kids MUST nap.  I had told Emily the kids could stay up late until we got home so she didn't have to deal with that chaos.  I made cookie dough, ordered pizza, and they were going to get to watch all of Cars.  We knew we'd be home around 9.  But I wanted the kids to have a good nap so that they were ok and not train wrecks for Emily when they stayed up late.

So at naptime I ignored them for an hour, sat in there for 30 minutes until 2 fell asleep, then my pain in the rear (N) refused to sleep despite me lying there with him, etc.  (This is the short, abbreviated, calm version). 

Here is the text version to Jenny:  I'm bawling my eyes out I'm so mad.  I just don't know what to do.  And I'm stressed because I want them to take good naps so they're ok to stay up late and not be train wrecks with Emily.  And N never went to sleep and now woke up L.  I just hate this. I hate sleep.  Maybe from here on out I won't worry if they play the whole time but I don't want them to give up naps...but maybe the novelty will wear off?  I know to give it time but I'm so tired and have wasted so many hours with this...I don't need an answer but I'm so so so mad.  And now they're all up.  Less than an hour of sleep and 1.5 hours of attempted sleep.  And N no sleep.  Good thing Nate has them now.  I'm not sure I can be civil to them. 

So Nate kept them and I ran to get milk, tomato plants, and a frappaccino.  ;) 

On our drive after we had left the boys, my sweet husband tells me (very kindly):  Babe, I think you're a bit too tightly wound about this.  I think you just need to shut them in the room from 1-3 and leave them be.  If they sleep, great.  If not, yes, it will be ugly.  I think the fun will wear off.  Shut them in again from 8-7.  They can't open the door.  The sleep WILL come.  And I know I won't be around for a lot of it, but I think this is the best thing to do. 

And I agreed. 

We had a good time seeing Brian Regan, he cracked us up and relaxed me a bit.  And the boys were FINE for Emily.  They watched Cars, then she said, "ok boys, time for bed!" and off they all walked and laid down in their beds.  She left the door wide open, N cried about something once, and that was that.  (PUNKS!!!!  But I would so much rather them treat her well!)

So today I shut them in their room.  I turned on the sound machine in my room and the attic fan in the house, and I took a nap.  I heard screaming off and on (mostly on) for about an hour and a half.  No more playing and giggling...they are exhausted.  I am pretty sure that no one can get hurt in there, but you never know.  It finally got quiet, and I peeked in to see this.  L is in N's bed (not even his own!) and N is jammed up against the door again. 

I KNOW that this will pass.  Of course they will learn to sleep again.  When I first started letting them cry it out with the other two sleeping, it was a rough week.  But now they can sleep through anything.  I know that they will learn to do this.  I know that we have to get a week past this and we should (Lord, please) be ok.  The pacifier deal is over, but now it is beds.  And to be honest, this (bed transition) has been the biggest, scariest thing on the horizon for me (beyond the very early days of three infants).  And here we are.  And it will be over soon.  And then there will be nothing scary on the horizon...unless you count potty training....! 

Beds

So last night Nate came home and I was worried about the cribs.  He suggested we just move them right then and there so that I wouldn't freak out about them getting hurt. 
So off we all went to Lowes to buy lumber.

He built 3 beds out of 2x6 lumber (just rectangles, and the mattress lies on the floor on the inside).  He took down the cribs, then drilled the beds into the wall...certainly don't need them picking up and pushing lumber AND mattresses around the room.

They did ok.  They were all asleep by 9, which is, in fact, better than 10.  They mostly screamed and cried, and finally as I sat outside their door out of sight they calmed down.

The problem is that I just don't know how to attack this whole thing.  Let them play?  Keep the door open (but then they get out)?  Shut the door (but then they freak out)?  Yell?  Spank?  Ignore?  Soothe?  Sit in the room with them?  Sit outside the door out of sight?

They did not have naps today (we were at dads, so we drove home and they napped in the car).  Tonight they did pretty well, and were all asleep by 830, and were mostly quiet by 8.

My current plan of attack is to keep putting them to bed at 730 and let them play and giggle until 8.  (But I still have the problem of them kind of freaking out with the door entirely shut, and I can't leave it open...)  After 800 I will start to crack down on them...whatever that means.  The past few nights as they have finally calmed down I have stood outside their door where they can't see me (so don't know when I leave), but I will kind of hang out for a few minutes to make sure they have calmed down.  But I don't want to HAVE to be outside their door for them to calm down and go to sleep.  I don't know.

I just went in to take some pictures to post, and found I couldn't open the door.  So I reached my hand in and shoved.  N had passed out in front of the door.  So cute. 

This first pic just shows how stripped down their bedroom is...there used to be shelves all the way down the wall...but I'm worried they would climb them, and I certainly can't put clothes on them anymore, so they've all been pulled out.  Maybe someday I will be able to put them in again.  And this room/bed setup is probably going to last a year.  Next summer we will work on lofts and rearranging again when they are a bit older.

Losing it...

So this last post I thought we were past the ugliness....WRONG. 

Last night it was 9:55 when N and C were finally asleep.  L fell asleep "early" at 9:30. 

Over the course of the evening here are a few of the funny things that happened.  I can say funny because I know it is hilarious, but it is NOT funny to me now...

7:35 I put them to bed.  The door is shut. 
8:05 I finally walk back to get them to settle down.  I open the door, thinking maybe they will feel like I can see them, so that they will stay in bed.
8:15 I put Z in bed.  I say prayers with him.  I hear the little boys get out of bed, and peek over my shoulder to see them all standing with their feet on the threshold to their bedroom, watching us.  When they see me see them, they all scamper back to bed.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  It was actually pretty funny, since it was still early in the evening.
8:20 Z:  MOMMMMMMM!!!!!! One of the boys is out of bed!!!!!   MOMMMMMMM!!!!  Me:  Z, I know, I don't need your help, but thanks.  Repeat.  Repeat. Repeat.
8:20-9:00  I have been alternating between an open door and a closed locked door.  Unfortunately the locks don't hold, and I didn't think to get a safety doorknob.  I have also been alternating between having the hall light on and off.  I have been back more times that I can count.  I have spanked, said no, yelled. I have pulled kids out of the wrong bed and put them in the right bed a gazillion times.  I have stood in their room, outside their room, gone back and sat back down. 
9:00 I go back to find L has used the toybox to stand up on the changing table (in the pitch black room) to play with the windchimes. 
9:10 I hear feet down the hall (getting more daring) and find all 3 boys sitting on the toybox that I moved.  It is in front of my bedoom door.  When they see me, they grin and scurry back to their room. 
9:20  I hear feet again, and they have all 3 ventured all the way down the hallway, and they are standing to the entrance to the hallway.  They see me and scurry, giggling, down the hall. 
9:30 L decides he is done.  He crawls into bed and settles down. 
9:45 C and N are still being bold and walking down the hall. 
9:50  I go back and bawl them out.  Totally frustrated.  I decide to stand just out of their view, and I can hear them getting out, so I bark "LIE DOWN" each time I hear them get out. 
9:55 I walk away, and they are finally asleep. 

They have been having a good time.  They mostly laugh, and there is not much crying.  They are not upset about the fact that the paci's are gone, but I do think (finally noticed last night) that N is needing me to go to sleep.  He has been last to fall asleep each time, and until I noticed, I just went in and stood by him for a minute until he passed out. 

The problem is that I don't want to HAVE to sit in their room for them to go to sleep.  I don't know.  I don't know if we're doing this right or wrong or what. 

We are going to move them to beds this weekend.  The cribs are getting ridiculous...they are standing on parts they shoudn't be, and N fell out once last night.

I know this is just part of life with kids...that we will get past this...but mercy, this is hard. 

Dorothy is here this week (I had 2 mornings I needed someone to watch kids) and she has been an amazing blessing. This morning I was still so mad at my kids! So I took Z to school and ran some errands, and she kept the little boys. They would have been horrid with me, and vice versa, but with Grandma, well, they were about as good as they could be.

Here is a picture of how they have been spending a lot of their time...giggling, wrestling, laughing, squealing, all hanging out in L's bed.

I love these kids....

Naptime

Round 2 of naptime fights. 

L is pretty good about it, but N and C are close enough to reach each other.  They laugh and giggle and talk and yell and giggle.  They bounce and spin in circles and put blankets over their heads.  They have NOT (praise God) been getting out.  We are on day 5 today.  One day they didn't sleep at all (and that was ugly), but the other days it has been over an hour for them to fall asleep.  I know this is a phase, which makes it easier.  Still frustrating, but easier.  Last time they did this was in early January...so here we are almost 3 months later.  Actually, we had sleep issues in mid February also, but that was more about escaping, not playing....ah, sleep. 

I have 2 crib tents that I will use if needed, but we just haven't gotten there yet.  Right now the plan is to keep them in cribs until June, then transition them to big kid beds.  Not sure how that will work out.  I might lose my mind!

Rough

It has been a rough week over here.  This is a hard job.  So hard.  Some days I just don't think I am up for it. 
I wrote about the boys napping on Monday....
Tuesday no one napped.  They spent an hour and 45 minutes escaping, getting swatted, playing, screaming, escaping, laughing, crying, getting swatted.  I was back there every 2-5 minutes.  I was exhausted.  At an end.  Didn't know what to do.  Totally stressed out.  Miserable.
The rest of the afternoon was terrible too.  They were so tired.  And they whined.  And they crabbed, and fought, and screamed, and whined, and snatched, and whined, and cried.  They were in bed at 6.  They all fell asleep relatively quickly, but N was awake 45 minutes later screaming...which he did for 45 more minutes.  (I have noticed he does that if he is overtired...he goes to sleep then is up after a sleep cycle for awhile).  It was horrid.  I was stressed out and wasn't able to relax at all, not even through the night and into Wednesday morning.   
I asked some girls in my multiples group for advice, and got some good advice.  Tuesday night and Wednesday I mulled around ideas, and finally decided to work hard core for a solid week at training them to stay in bed.  I have always said that you have to work hard for a week before ANYTHING will take root in my experience (potty training, bottle weaning/cup training, pacifier removal, etc), but that if you work and are consistent, it will take a week.  I don't know if that will be the case here, but I decided to try it for a week.  I also got 2 crib tents from friends.  To those who don't know, yes, it is sort of a baby cage.  It is a netted dome that goes over a crib to prevent a child from escaping.  So I will work for a week, and see where we're at. 
I think I am anti-crib tent because I feel like my kids have beat me.  I know this isn't true, and I know that life is just different with 3 kids at once, but I think that is my hangup with them.  But, I have to adapt and accept what I have.  So we'll see. 
And I think my sanity is more important than whether my kids have "beat" me in this area.  I was a train wreck the last 48 hours.  I snapped at my kids. I doubted myself as a mom.  I was sure I was not good enough because I didn't read enough, care enough, do crafts enough, play enough with my kids.  I doubted myself as a wife...my house wasn't clean enough, I was dumping on my husband and not loving towards him, I didn't have dinner made.
Thankfully Wednesday they were exhausted and napped without escaping, and today they went to sleep pretty quickly as well, and no one tried anything wacky. 
So we'll see where we're at in a week.  I hope I am still sane. 

Sleep revisited

Soooo....sleep. 
I have written about it before.  Last time I wrote, the boys had gotten out of bed at naps, gotten some swats, screamed, and hadn't done it again. 
Well, now they have.  They began just doing it at the END of naps or in the morning.  Not so fun to hear them pattering down the hall at 6:45 when I'm used to getting up at 7 and taking a shower and THEN getting them.  Also not so fun at 2:45 when I'm used to another 30 or 45 minutes of time to get stuff done. 
So since then I have put some toys in there for them, and I shut the door (they can't do doorknobs...yet).  They have foam blocks (safe) and old kid magazines (I don't care if they're in shreds).  I only get them down after they they are already asleep at night (I don't bother at naptime), so when they get up in the morning they can play in their room and can't get out until I get them.  Of course the room is a tornado when I go get them, but we clean up before we leave. 
Until a few days ago, they hadn't gotten out on the front end of naptime or bedtime.  But then L got out once a few days in a row and got a swat and stayed in bed.  Today was ugly though...C and L both out and playing.  I had to sit in there  with them finally for about 20 minutes until they calmed down.  It made me irate.  I was so crabby and frustrated.  We'll see how it goes.  I really don't want to have to go to crib tents, but we'll see.  I have one from a friend, and since N can't get out yet, I would only need one more...I just don't want to do it.  But at least I have one I can use if I get desperate. 

Escape Artists

I wrote here about how C had learned to escape the pack n play and his crib. 
He had not done it since that night we came home and he was totally exhausted, so I thought maybe I had dodged that one for awhile longer.
Thursday I heard the kids talking after their naps.  I normally don't go get them up until I hear at least 2 of them, or maybe all 3.  They are happy talking and playing, and I am happy with them in there.  So Thursday I finally walked in, and I walked in to L straddling the crib rail, and C lying flat across the crib rail.  In my sternest voice I say "No, no!  That is dangerous!  We do NOT crawl out of our cribs!".  C was unphased but got down, but my sensitive little L looked at me and burst into tears. I hoped maybe that had done the trick. 
Friday morning, I heard the kids talking again, and finally got out of bed to go get their milk.  All of a sudden I hear footsteps, and I am just hoping it is Z...but no.  C is just grinning up at me.  So I go back to their room, and see N still in his crib, but no L.  "N, where is L?".  N just pointed under the changing table, where I see L grinning and hoarding pacifiers. 
Friday at naptime, I was worried.  I tucked them in, then shut the door to peek in.  I watched L get out (his is the only bed I can see from the door), then walked back in and find C had escaped too.  I grabbed each of them, gave them a firm swat on the bottom, and said NO!  Well that sent all three of them into screaming fits.  Over the course of the next 40 minutes they probably got out 4-5 more times, and the screaming didn't stop.  Finally I just sat in there with them, not looking at them, but watching them.  When L tried to get out I would tell him no firmly again.  They all settled down eventually with me sitting in there.  L fell asleep, and C and N were calmed down about 30 minutes after I went in there (an hour and 10 minutes after naptime "started").  I got up to leave and C and N cried for a minute, but then went to sleep. 
Since then no one has tried to escape again (and now we have had 7 opportunities).  Hoping that put a bit of fear into them, and that maybe they won't try again for awhile longer?  We'll just have to wait and see....

Road trip

Last weekend I took the boys down to Mike and Dorothy's for the weekend.  We decided to give Nate the weekend "off" and let him enjoy the house in quiet.  It was such a treat for me to have him do this for me last Mother's Day, so I wanted to pay him back. 
Let me preface by saying that Nate had a good weekend.  And I love my husband dearly, so I was more than happy to serve him by doing this and to let him enjoy some much needed "me" time. 
That said, it was a VERY hard weekend. 
I realized 2 hours into the drive I left the pacifiers and blankets at home.  Thankfully, there were 2 still left at their house, and L doesn't use a paci.  But still, the kids are used to one in the mouth and one in the hand, and I am used to not having to crawl around on a dark floor looking for a soothie that has bounced who-knows-where.  And they all love their 3 blankets each.  And they have minimal experience with pack-n-plays.  It was a set up for bad sleeping.  And bad sleeping it was. 
On Friday, L and C napped a total of 45 minutes, and N not at all.  There was a lot of crying and screaming.
Friday night, they did not go to bed easily either.  Dorothy and I left to go shopping when the little boys were in bed, but there was a lot of crying and screaming that went on before they finally went to sleep.
N woke up at 545 screaming (my kids normally get up at 7 or 715), and all the kids were in my room watching tv by 630. 
Saturday for naptime we tried to each take a kid to lie down with.  In the back of my head I thought it was probably a bad idea, but it couldn't be worse than the day before.  So I took N and Z, Dorothy took C, and Mike took L. L slept for a little over an hour.  N and C had nothing to do with it.  Finally after 45 minutes of them both fighting and screaming as we tried to get them to sleep, we gave up.  I put them in their pack-n-plays screaming and walked out.  A few minutes later I hear the door close....C had managed to get out of the pack-n-play.  Naptime was over.  No sleep for C and N. 
Tired, crabby kids. 
Saturday night C got out a few times, but then fell asleep.  Screaming from N and L.  All 3 were asleep an hour and a half after I put them down...an hour and a half of one or more screaming. 
Then, C was hopping out of bed at 520 on Sunday morning.  I put him in once, he hopped out again, so  brought him in with me, hoping the dark would make him go back to sleep.  Nope.  Singing, talking, kicking, flailing.  Sleeping was not in there.  Thankfully everyone else slept until 7. 
We left to go home and the boys napped in the car for about an hour. 
When we got home, the boys were tired and crabby.  So was I. We put them in bed at 6, and C, stinker, climbed out of bed.  He and N were completely delirious, and were screaming like I have never seen them scream.  C kept jumping out, so I finally just stayed in there and held N down, and C saw me there, so he finally calmed down. 
Did this stress me out BIG time?  YES.  Was the trip terrible?  No.  Besides the screaming and not napping, they were wonderful.  They had fun and behaved well.  Dorothy has a ton of toys, and the boys had a lot of fun playing with Grandma and Papa.  Z got to do crafts with Grandma, so he was happy.  I got to go shopping and got summer Crocs for the boys, plus a sweater for me and some clothes for the boys, so that was nice.  They have cable, and cable is always a fun treat for me.  We got McDonalds and Cracker Barrel, and I didn't have to worry about making dinner and getting meals on the table.  And Nate got a nice weekend. 
We are finally recouperated.  Thankfully C has not scaled his crib again, and he has had many opportunities.  I think it was just him being hysterical and totally not in his right head.  The boys didn't take good naps on Monday or Tuesday, but they did yesterday and today.
Here are a few of the pictures I was able to take.  See, they did have a great time! 

How it's done: sleep

Thankfully, my kids are good sleepers.  They always have been. 

Z started going through phases when he was 2 where he would fight naps, and he finally gave up napping at age 3 (right when the little boys were born, great timing).  He still has an hour of quiet time every day, because I need it!  He goes to bed at 8 and is getting out of bed around 715.  A few months ago we got him a desk lamp that he has hooked on his bed, so after I give him kisses and pray with him, he leaves the light on and looks at his magazines and catalogs.  I think it is normally for 15-30 minutes, but I'm not positive.  In the morning I think he actually wakes up around 645, but then reads and hangs out until I get up around 715.  We have never had a problem with him leaving his room or wanting to sleep with us.  He has not yet had nightmares or been scared at night. 

The little boys are good sleepers too.  When they were around 3 months old and they were more on a schedule and sleeping in their cribs, and not just zonked out all the time, I had to decide what to do with them when one woke up crying.  For a week or two I would grab the cryer and put him in my room or another room because I didn't want him to wake up a brother.  That got old quickly, and at the advice of the girls in my multiples group I just decided to let them cry it out.  For a week or so, it was rough.  One would cry, I would go in and give him a paci, but another would wake up. Even if the first only cried for a few minutes, it would be enough to wake up another, or both.  But after a week or so, they slept through each other.  And now it is great.  If someone is wailing, the other two will (most often) sleep right through it, sometimes up to 45 minutes!!  If someone (or two) are laughing and talking, the other(s) will sleep through it. 

The boys go to bed at 7, and normally are asleep sometime before 730.  They get up at 715 also, but again, I think that they are all awake around 645, but they play and talk and giggle in their cribs until I go get them.  Every once in awhile someone will be crying in the morning, but it is rare. 

For naptime, I put them down at 1 (literally pop each one into their crib, say nite-nite, give them pacis and blankets, and walk out).  They sleep until typically at least 3, but sometimes as late as 4.  I only get them up when I hear 2 or more of them talking.  They have gotten used to just lying in their beds talking and giggling and waking up slowly. 

But, just like Z, just recently (a few weeks before they turn 2), they are starting to fight naps.  This month has been rough.  Luckily they are happy, not screaming, but they will sometimes talk and laugh and play until after 2.  N is the worst, and I heard him 3 days this week at 230.  And oh, it stresses me out.  Not the playing and laughing, but the fact that they are soooo crabby because they haven't gotten enough sleep.  N finally fell apart today, after 3 days of only an hour or so of naps.  He was a train wreck, and it made me so mad!  Thankfully they all took good naps today. 

I know that we will continue to fight naps, and that I will just have to deal with it.  But honestly, the (not) sleeping issue is the most frustrating thing for me as a mom, because I can't control it.  I can't MAKE them sleep, even when they need it. 

So far, they are still in their cribs, too.  I realize this era is about over, and THAT stresses me out.    I have seen C and L with their foot up and on the edge of the crib, so I know it is only a matter of time before they climb out.  I just checked, and Z climbed out first in February, but then didn't again until April, when we finally switched him to a big bed.  I would be amazed and grateful if we lasted that long.  And then to big boy beds...where they can get out at will...fight, play, scream, hit, laugh, bite, giggle, and destroy whenever they want....