Today I miss my babies

 Big boys are loud.  They fight.  They bite.  They rip books multiple times.  They are deaf and/or have selective hearing (maybe that loud part has something to do with this).  I have to repeat myself not just once for each kid (that is four times already) but about three times per kid (math whizzes, that is 12 times).  12 times saying "Please buckle yourself into your lunch chair.  Go to the bathroom.  Get your arms in the straps.  Don't hit your brother.  We don't rip books.  Not so loud.  He asked you to stop. We don't say poop.  Get off of me.  Don't hit me.  Get in your bed.  Find your blankets.  Hang up your coat.  Find your shoes.  You may not have his book.  SHARE."  Etc, etc, etc. 

I am tired. They are nuts.  Days like yesterday and today, I want my sweet babies back...the ones who YES did cry and YES did need me to hold them and YES had me sleep deprived, but NO did not yell or talk or talk back or whine or disobey or hit or bite or rip or ignore or be malicious, and did NOT require multiple timeouts in a house where there just is not room for 3 kids to have timeout at the same time.  While I did have to hold 2 babies (or more) at once, I didn't have to haul them off of each other, one kid held in each hand, and hurl them into timeout for biting/hitting/screaming. 

A taste of today: 

• I just pulled L off of N's belly where he sat while C yanked on N's hood and tried to drag him along.  Screaming was involved all around. 
• Z wanted to help N look at a book, N didn't want help and told Z, Z didn't listen, N took a huge bite out of him. Again, screaming all around. 
• N went to timeout in his bed since he was screaming like a lunatic, where he proceeded to rip at least 2 books to shreds, then hit me when I yelled at him. 
• I didn't feel like grocery shopping yesterday when I would have been by myself (MORON), so I had to take all 4 boys this morning for a big ($120 at Aldi) trip, on a Monday before a holiday.  They took up the cart while I had the groceries in a bag, under the cart, and a few in the cart that could handle being stomped on. 
• Z dropped the apples at least twice (those will be delish now), and N and L took turns saying POOOOOOP.   
• (One good thing was that someone felt sorry for me...I let her go in front of us and she left $5 for my groceries). 
• On the way out to the car they all FREAK about where they are going to stand on the cart (since I checked out and the cart is now full, not in my bag anymore)...resulting in L throwing himself on the ground in the MIDDLE of the road in the parking lot with cars waiting. 

I miss my babies.  And in just a few years I will miss this age too. 

Don't push your luck

We met some friends at our favorite place (MoBot) a few weeks ago.  I didn't get many pictures (it really is getting so hard by myself), but I got this one. 

I almost didn't even post this picture, since it was kind of a loner, but then I remembered what was hard about this day.  I was totally at the end of my rope with sleeping (I had just gotten the peapods the day before), the kids were exhausted, and it was about 10 million degrees out. 

We packed a lunch but had played a long time before lunch with one girl and her kids.  We hiked back to the front of the gardens to eat lunch and meet another friend.  I SHOULD HAVE just left after lunch.  This is the kind of thing where I just push a bit too far...but I hadn't had a chance to visit with Emily (the other girl hiked back to meet) and I wanted to. 

So we hiked back over to the children's garden.  We were there for about 10 minutes and I realized it was a bad plan.  They were going to play in the water but a field trip was there, and they were wearing orange (um, that is MY color!), so I didn't let my kids in.  They were hot and tired but then they saw the market, their favorite place to play.  But by that point I was done....my stress level had just reached its max...but they wanted to stay.  I ended up having to bodily haul away 2 of the boys crying/screaming, with Emily carrying the third.  Since I only bring the 2 seater wagon to MoBot, there were only 2 seats.  That day they had decided (since they were hot and exhausted) that there was NO WAY that all 3 of them would sit in it like they normally do.  But I had a big backpack on my back (to carry lunch and 4 water bottles and diapers and wipes and a change of clothes), which made it hard for me to carry a kid on my hip.  And there was no way that third kid could WALK.  So I chose N (the lightest by about 8 pounds) and threw him up on my shoulders, then had to walk BACK to get Z who was still playing with his friends. 

Then my whole entourage had to trek all the way out of the gardens and to the car, like that.  Z holding my hand.  N on my shoulders (and he rests his chin on my head, so every step I take his jaws clap together.  I have no clue why he likes that/does that but he does even after I repeatedly tell him to stop).  C and L in the wagon strapped in.  Huge backpack on my back.  Me sweating like crazy.  And wearing my sunglasses because NO WAY did I want to make eye contact with anyone and have them decide to engage me in conversation (wow, your hands are full!  YES THEY ARE.)

And that is why you don't push your luck.  Just stop and go home. 

Meltdown

Yesterday I had a complete and total meltdown.  The kids were up around 615 (normally around 7).  Then naptime is where I fell apart. 

We went out last night (talk about bad timing) because someone had given us Brian Regan tickets, and we love him.  I asked Emily to watch the boys.  And the show was at 7.  You know, bedtime.  In the midst of bedtime hell.  Thursday I called the guy to bail on the tickets, but he convinced me to go anyway (and suggested that HE watch my kids if I would feel better, which I declined, I figured the kids at least knew Emily). 

This is one of the problems I have, good or bad.  I am a bit of a control freak, and I like to do things on my own, and I don't want to burden people, or "need" people to help me. See how this is a problem in so many ways?  I was this way before I even had the boys.  And now that I have the boys, well, they are a lot of work.  And while I trust people with my kids, I know it is a big job and a lot of work and quite honestly, pretty intimidating.  And I don't want them to fall apart on someone else (who wants 3 screaming kids?).  So I have pretty much managed to just have people watch them when it is "easy".  They are in bed already, or it is from 9-11 am where they just have to manage playtime, or it is during naptime and they're asleep.  No one has to deal with meals or bedtime or anything else.  Just play with my kids or sit in a quiet house and make sure it doesn't burn down.  Yes, this has made it difficult for us to go out, but I figure there is a time eventually when we can go out on our own, in a few years or so.  But times do come up (like this) where I just want to go out. 

So, naptime.  I was a bit manic about the fact that the kids MUST nap.  I had told Emily the kids could stay up late until we got home so she didn't have to deal with that chaos.  I made cookie dough, ordered pizza, and they were going to get to watch all of Cars.  We knew we'd be home around 9.  But I wanted the kids to have a good nap so that they were ok and not train wrecks for Emily when they stayed up late.

So at naptime I ignored them for an hour, sat in there for 30 minutes until 2 fell asleep, then my pain in the rear (N) refused to sleep despite me lying there with him, etc.  (This is the short, abbreviated, calm version). 

Here is the text version to Jenny:  I'm bawling my eyes out I'm so mad.  I just don't know what to do.  And I'm stressed because I want them to take good naps so they're ok to stay up late and not be train wrecks with Emily.  And N never went to sleep and now woke up L.  I just hate this. I hate sleep.  Maybe from here on out I won't worry if they play the whole time but I don't want them to give up naps...but maybe the novelty will wear off?  I know to give it time but I'm so tired and have wasted so many hours with this...I don't need an answer but I'm so so so mad.  And now they're all up.  Less than an hour of sleep and 1.5 hours of attempted sleep.  And N no sleep.  Good thing Nate has them now.  I'm not sure I can be civil to them. 

So Nate kept them and I ran to get milk, tomato plants, and a frappaccino.  ;) 

On our drive after we had left the boys, my sweet husband tells me (very kindly):  Babe, I think you're a bit too tightly wound about this.  I think you just need to shut them in the room from 1-3 and leave them be.  If they sleep, great.  If not, yes, it will be ugly.  I think the fun will wear off.  Shut them in again from 8-7.  They can't open the door.  The sleep WILL come.  And I know I won't be around for a lot of it, but I think this is the best thing to do. 

And I agreed. 

We had a good time seeing Brian Regan, he cracked us up and relaxed me a bit.  And the boys were FINE for Emily.  They watched Cars, then she said, "ok boys, time for bed!" and off they all walked and laid down in their beds.  She left the door wide open, N cried about something once, and that was that.  (PUNKS!!!!  But I would so much rather them treat her well!)

So today I shut them in their room.  I turned on the sound machine in my room and the attic fan in the house, and I took a nap.  I heard screaming off and on (mostly on) for about an hour and a half.  No more playing and giggling...they are exhausted.  I am pretty sure that no one can get hurt in there, but you never know.  It finally got quiet, and I peeked in to see this.  L is in N's bed (not even his own!) and N is jammed up against the door again. 

I KNOW that this will pass.  Of course they will learn to sleep again.  When I first started letting them cry it out with the other two sleeping, it was a rough week.  But now they can sleep through anything.  I know that they will learn to do this.  I know that we have to get a week past this and we should (Lord, please) be ok.  The pacifier deal is over, but now it is beds.  And to be honest, this (bed transition) has been the biggest, scariest thing on the horizon for me (beyond the very early days of three infants).  And here we are.  And it will be over soon.  And then there will be nothing scary on the horizon...unless you count potty training....! 

Failures

My kids have gotten pretty good about going out places.  In general, they are pretty good about holding my fingers when we walk.  In general, they are pretty good in the cart or in the wagon.  But they have gotten this way because I have tried some dumb stuff and had some failures...and those have taught not only them, but me! 

Most of my "failures" come when I decide to take the kids in someplace public with no restraint (like a shopping cart or a wagon).  Why do I not have a cart or wagon?  Sheer laziness, most of the time.  I just don't feel like getting out the wagon, and I am in a brave mood, so I walk them in to the post office. Or at Aldi I don't have a quarter....so do I really need a cart?  At the library, it is just too difficult to wheel around the wagon.  Times like this I really think about how much easier it would be with just one child....

A few recent failures: 
At Aldi, I just needed 2 things.  I knew exactly where they were.  It would be quick, in and out.  So in we all traipse...and they take off.  All 4 of them run yelling down the aisles.  Praise the Lord, they didn't take stuff from the shelves, but they did run and yell and cause a ruckus.  And on the way out..."nandy! nandy! nandy!"  Eight hands all grabbing for Reese's Pieces. 

At Starbucks, the line for the drivethru was long.  And (I thought) it was free coffee day.  So I took in my travel mug, with the lid that snaps shut tightly and has a handle so I can stow it in my bag and hold 3 hands.  But it wasn't free coffee day.  And I felt like a moron dragging my kids in for free coffee that wasn't free.  So I bought (with a free coupon!) a large coffee.  With no spill proof lid.  And no handle to stow in my bag.  Leaving me with 1 hand and 3 runners.  As they ran around like fools on the patio (luckily it was chilly so no one was out there) after I tried futilely to round them up, I took my coffee to the car and then came back for them.  Embarrassed to admit it didn't even OCCUR to me to put my coffee down, take them, and then come back for it.


Other failures?  At the library, where books are pulled off shelves and CDs are pulled out of cases.  At Walgreens, where I just needed 2 things, and the carts are small, so they walked, and we left a pile of deodorant in the aisle.  At Aldi, where I took the kids at 530 and L just about toppled out of the cart grabbing for an apple.  After that I gave them all apples to let them eat while we shopped, and Z was very concerned, "Um, Mom?  Do you think we should pay for those...?"  One last one, and I will just give the last detail, involved me kicking guacamole through the parking lot that had fallen out of my bag and I couldn't get down to pick it up amidst 3 screaming kids.  Sigh.... 

The problem is that I actually think these scenarios all through.  I do a lot of planning in my head.  (The coffee mug, the 2 things we need, etc).  I think it will work, and sometimes it does, but sometimes...it doesn't.  Three kids have minds of their own.  These are the times when I get looks from people and I understand why they're giving me that look.  The looks that say "Wow she has her hands full!  Man, sucks to be her!  So glad that I don't have that many kids!"  I feel like people are just staring at me as I'm yelling at the big one for going into the street, attempting to lunge for one child, holding anothers hand, and have the third around the waist as I haul him out.  

But I can laugh about them because they are NOT the norm.  It is good for me to be a bit humbled when I mess up in such a non-important way.  It reminds me that I am not, nor will ever be, supermom.  And that is goooood! 

Rough

It has been a rough week over here.  This is a hard job.  So hard.  Some days I just don't think I am up for it. 
I wrote about the boys napping on Monday....
Tuesday no one napped.  They spent an hour and 45 minutes escaping, getting swatted, playing, screaming, escaping, laughing, crying, getting swatted.  I was back there every 2-5 minutes.  I was exhausted.  At an end.  Didn't know what to do.  Totally stressed out.  Miserable.
The rest of the afternoon was terrible too.  They were so tired.  And they whined.  And they crabbed, and fought, and screamed, and whined, and snatched, and whined, and cried.  They were in bed at 6.  They all fell asleep relatively quickly, but N was awake 45 minutes later screaming...which he did for 45 more minutes.  (I have noticed he does that if he is overtired...he goes to sleep then is up after a sleep cycle for awhile).  It was horrid.  I was stressed out and wasn't able to relax at all, not even through the night and into Wednesday morning.   
I asked some girls in my multiples group for advice, and got some good advice.  Tuesday night and Wednesday I mulled around ideas, and finally decided to work hard core for a solid week at training them to stay in bed.  I have always said that you have to work hard for a week before ANYTHING will take root in my experience (potty training, bottle weaning/cup training, pacifier removal, etc), but that if you work and are consistent, it will take a week.  I don't know if that will be the case here, but I decided to try it for a week.  I also got 2 crib tents from friends.  To those who don't know, yes, it is sort of a baby cage.  It is a netted dome that goes over a crib to prevent a child from escaping.  So I will work for a week, and see where we're at. 
I think I am anti-crib tent because I feel like my kids have beat me.  I know this isn't true, and I know that life is just different with 3 kids at once, but I think that is my hangup with them.  But, I have to adapt and accept what I have.  So we'll see. 
And I think my sanity is more important than whether my kids have "beat" me in this area.  I was a train wreck the last 48 hours.  I snapped at my kids. I doubted myself as a mom.  I was sure I was not good enough because I didn't read enough, care enough, do crafts enough, play enough with my kids.  I doubted myself as a wife...my house wasn't clean enough, I was dumping on my husband and not loving towards him, I didn't have dinner made.
Thankfully Wednesday they were exhausted and napped without escaping, and today they went to sleep pretty quickly as well, and no one tried anything wacky. 
So we'll see where we're at in a week.  I hope I am still sane. 

Chaos

 

There is a LOT of chaos in our house.  I just happened to snap this picture, but it is soooo typical.  C getting the phone.  N up on the counter.  L getting who knows what out of the sink. 

Here are a few of the one time things that have happened this week alone, along with some of the other ongoing messes in my world...

• N dumped half a box of fruity pebbles out, luckily "into" a bowl. 
• C ate the leg off of an ornament Z made last year, then Z decided he should follow suit and ate the other leg off. 
• C and N got into a foil covered plate of Christmas cookies...right after we ate breakfast. 
• C finds a way to get to ANY "cra-ca" he can. 
• Z colored a friend of his green, "like Frankenstein" in a Christmas card picture. 
• Z threw a cup of water on N. 
• Craft supplies litter my floors.   
• Only 1/3 of my tree still has ornaments on it. 
• Books are torn to pieces and left all over the floors. 
• I have been having to clean up food prep stuff before the kids get out of their chairs, or they are sticking fingers in peanut butter, digging pickles out of jars, dumping chips into yogurt, etc.
• Silverware, pots and pans have been found in the living room, dining room, kitchen, and basement.  They would be in the bedrooms and bathrooms if the doors were open, but they MUST stay shut.  
• They can all get onto Z's top bunk...only one has fallen off so far. 
• C dumps baskets.  Just walk up, dump it out, and walk away. 
• More, but it's not in my head right this second...

I walk from one room to the next, saying, "N, get off the counter. Z, did you shut your bedroom door?  C, it is not snacktime, you may not have more food.  L, I can't read to you right this second.  N, quit stealing toys.  L, don't push him.  Z, we don't have modeling clay, soda bottles, and wooden skewers to make a bottle rocket right now.  C, don't dump that bucket!"  It is NONSTOP and exhausting.

 

I think it has gotten worse because we have been stuck inside (wintertime) for the past month or so.  It has really escalated in the past week.  The little boys have started fighting, especially hitting and pushing, like crazy.  Here is a typical situation: 

 

"Kid one, you may not crawl up on that.  Please get down."  Kid one looks at me, screams and yells in complaint, then looks around for the first kid he can find to take his anger out on.  First kid runs up to second kid and wallops him in the head.  Second kid looks up in surprise and sometimes hits back, but if the first kid has taken off already, the second kid looks for the third kid and hits him.  Third kid hits second kid, then shoves the first kid.  First kid shoves third kid.  Second kid hits first kid.  And on and on and on.  Multiple times a day.  There is screaming and tears involved also.  There often is biting.  Sometimes a kid has an object (say, a train) in his hand as he hits another kid in the head.  Sometimes the hitting is unprovoked.  Sometimes Z is involved...he might try to break it up, which makes it worse.  Or sometimes he is the one that provokes the hitting.  I am trying to think if one of the boys is worse than the others about this, but I don't think that there is.  N is probably the worst, but not always.  It is just a lot of hitting and pushing and crying and screaming.  End of story.  And when I think about it, or relate it to someone, it actually is pretty funny, but in the moment...ugly.

 

I haven't quite figured out how to discipline it.  Nate suggested discipling the first kid, but I don't always know who started it.  I always stop and discipline biting and hitting with an object.  I tend to ignore some of the other stuff, because I figure they have to learn to deal with each other.  Regardless, it is hard and ugly.  Thankfully, they don't fight like this with any other kids or with each other like this if we are not home.  Typical...worst stuff at home...but I prefer that, I guess. 

 

That's all I can say about that for the time being...it is a struggle here, but then we have good days...we'll learn.  More on the subject if/when I learn how to deal with it better! 

Escape

Today when we got home from picking up Z from school, I pulled into the garage and got into the back of the van to start pulling the little boys out.  I got L's shoes off and pulled him out, plopped him in the house, shut the door behind me.  Got N's shoes off, pulled him out, plopped him in the house, shut the door behind me.  Went back to repeat for C. 

When I came inside with C, I hit the garage door to shut it, shut the inside door, and latched it.

I turned around to see where all the kids had taken off to.  L was playing happily in the family room, and I watched C dart down the hall.  Ooops, our bedroom door was still open, and he had gotten into our bathroom and was heading for the trash.  Z had climbed into our bed (brand new clean sheets on it) with muddy shoes. 

I got both of them out of there, and kind of heard N crying, but couldn't find him.  I realized he must have gone into the garage when I was getting C, so I opened up the door.  Oh no, he was not in the garage....I had actually shut him OUT of the garage.  He had opened up the inside door and bolted into the garage and was headed down the driveway in the 10 seconds it took for me to get C's shoes off and get him out.  And since he went on the far side of the car, I didn't even see him (and normally I hear them when they do that), I shut the garage door, locking him out. 

So I opened the garage and he was standing there screaming like crazy.  Thankful the garage door didn't get him, thankful he wasn't hurt, thankful the men working on the water pipes in my front yard were actually at the corner at that exact moment.

Lesson learned:  shut the garage door before you get any kids out of the van, unless you want them outside. 

And pray for us, that we all survive!  :)

A day in the life...

A partial list of things I have done today, just so I remember what life is like now...TIRING.  Warning though, this is quite rambling, and in no particular order, and I'm sure incomplete. 

• Cleaned up 2 full glasses of water pulled off of the counter onto little heads. 
• Restuffed 2 boxes of wipes. 
• Pulled children off of and swatted rears for climbing onto the swivel computer chair (repeat 2-3 times per kid). 
• Pulled children off of the kitchen barstools and kitchen counter (probably only 2-3 times total). 
• Told children to sit on the couch, not stand. 
• Pulled children off of the dining room table. 
• Attempted to maneuver 3 children in a Walgreens cart, followed by a big boy dropping a sippy cup on one kids head, resulting in screaming and me holding one kid while pushing a cart thru Walgreens (lesson learned--Walgreens carts and 3 kids are NOT a good idea, just get the wagon out). 
• Ran errands by myself with the kids--Walgreens, CVS, rec center.  Ran errands with Nate and the kids--Lowes, shoestore.  Total times in and out of the car:  10 (or more), so that is 40 seatbelts buckled/unbuckled. 
• Had numerous conversations with people in the stores (yes they're all mine; thank you they are so cute; yes we love them; yes Z is a good big brother; they are triplets; my hands are full, yes; etc).  I don't actually mind it too much :) 
• Broke up fights over toys.  One kid wants a toy that another has, when the first kid finally gives up and picks another toy, the first kid now wants THAT toy. 
• Repeated NO HIT about 10 million times. 
• Put one kid in a crib for having a meltdown. 
• Pushed chairs back from the table when kids banged on the table instead of eating.  (Repeat 2-3 times per kid, per meal). 
• Took plates away from kids when they decided to throw food and/or dump the plates over (again, repeat 2-3 times per kid, per meal).
• Swept my floor.
• Cleaned up the newspaper that got strewn all over. 
• Cleaned up the leftover trash from the new garbage disposal that Nate put in. 
• Fed 3 meals times 4 boys. 
• Debated telling the kids not to eat the food that they had previously thrown all over the floor, then reconsidered. 
• Cut out coupons. 
• Made dinner. 
• Checked my email, FB, blogs. 
• Watched a bit of Baby Einstein and a bit of Planet Earth, Jungles. 
• Helped kids downstairs and upstairs twice. 
• Tried to redirect kids (think herding cats) while playing outside in the front yard. 
• Broke up more fights over toys. 
• Looked for shoes.  8 each time. 
• Filled up milk cups and snack cups. 
• Looked for sippy cups under chairs, couches, in the car, in the basement. 
• Stood up from the dining room table to get ketchup, mustard, forks, cups, cheese, chips, etc...6-7 times per meal. 
• Unloaded the dishwasher (in the morning) and loaded it again (in the evening). 
• Encouraged Z to do his chores (6-7 times) so that he could watch a movie (really, more of a punishment for ME if he doesn't get his chores done on time!)
• Read books to kids
• Said NO BANG about a million times. 
• Picked up cups from the dining room floor during meals (3-4 times per kid per meal). 
• Wiped snotty noses. 
• Told Z to use a quieter voice (about 10 times). 
• Told Z not to roar at me. 
• Sent Z to timeout for hitting me with a towel after I told him not to. 
• Sent Z to his room to chill out after he got worked into a fit. 
• Hugged crying kids. 
• Changed 11 or 12 diapers. 
• Asked a million questions (what does the doggy say?  where is your nose?  what are you saying?  why are you screaming?  where is your cup?). 
• Loved my kids. 

Good Mom

I made the decision this morning to be a "good mom" (a selfless, actively involved, totally attentive, calm, patient, loving, smiling, magazine-type perfect mom...a ridiculous standard that I hold myself to, yet rarely reach) for the day.  It started when 2 of the little boys had fevers which meant our playdate plans were over.

So I was that mom...
The mom who made french toast for breakfast. 
The mom who happily encouraged (not nagged) her oldest son to get his chores done so he could watch TV later on. 
The mom who got the kids loaded up to run to the drugstore to get the biggest bottle of ibuprofin. 
The mom who got 2 store coupons for cheerios, found 2 more coupons for cheerios, and let the big boy pick out the type of cheerios he wanted (chocolate and honey nut) for 50 cents a box. 
The mom who came home and made pudding...it was even MY idea.   
The mom who set the little boys in their highchairs, dolloped some pudding on the trays, and gave them straws to eat it with, knowing full well what a mess would come from it. 

C was the biggest fan of the pudding

The mom who then figured, well, we're already a mess, so gave them real fingerpaints to play with, much to the joy of the big boy.  Again, against every bone in my body that saw the mess coming.  

L liked the fingerpaints the most.  In the words of Z, "L looks like a CLOWN!"

The mom who patiently repeated "no, that's not for eating" to 3 little boys. 
The mom who smiled and listened attentively to the big boy describing his fingerpainted picture.
The mom who calmly took the boys out of their chairs and gave them baths after they were done (at 11 am). 
The mom who asked the big boy to pick up the fingerpaints (and he did!). 
The mom who made grilled cheese for lunch (the griddle was still out, might as well), and fed them peas and blueberries and veggie straws to add to the health of it all. 
The mom who played games and wrestled and giggled with the boys. 
The mom who straightened up the basement (and patiently tried to teach the little boys how do help, against their nature)...I think every box was empty.
The mom who read for 30 solid minutes to the big boy when the little boys were down for a nap.
The mom who didn't clean up the mess, but focused on the boys, and figured I could clean up when they went down.  
The mom who didn't get on the computer all morning long. 
The mom who only talked on the phone for a few minutes while in the car.
The mom who didn't yell or have to punish kids. 
The mom who smiled and was patient. 

I'm exhausted...and naptime is almost over (which means my break is over).  I can't be a "good mom" every day...it is hard work!  But you know what?  The kids were great, Z was happy, and we had a very fun morning.   

Disclaimer:  I realize I am a "good mom" by other things I do, so no worries.  And I firmly belive, also, that leaving them up to their own entertainment (while I do other things that need to be done) is being a "good mom" as well.  I also know (as I stated above), that I have a ridiculous standard by which I measure myself...but it was nice to feel like I could be the "good mom" for at least a morning!

My floor

I thought my floor was bad.  And I thought it couldn't get worse.  Well, I think it is still on a downward slope. 
See, it's these crazy kids. 
When they were still little, it was pureed food that would splat, but I could clean that up easily. 
Then it got to bigger stuff, but no biggie, I could still sweep it up. 
We have hit the point of no return. 
A month or two ago we got rid of the trays on their highchairs so that they sit with us now.  I really like it, and don't regret the decision, because it makes it feel like they are part of the family, and not disconnected when we eat. 
But it means that they have plates, and they sit at the table. 
So now they can throw the food and their plates.  They can bang on the table.  They turn over the plates on the table or onto the floor.  There is food all over them, their chairs, the table, the floor.  Of course we have "rules", as much as you can for 18 month olds.  If they throw food or empty their plate, then we remove the plate.  We might give it back (if they haven't eaten much), but typically they don't throw food or the plate until they are done and are just looking for some fun.
But it's not just that either, it is their sippy cups, which I know I should start to let them have ONLY at the table.  Even though they are "leakproof", I have yet to believe that.  So there is milk in random places all over the floor.   
My poor floor has taken the brunt of it.  It is so depressing, and it makes me so sad to look at it every day.  Cleaning it makes me sick, since I know it will be a disaster again in the morning. 
I was just having to get on my hands and knees and clean under it.  Then, per recommendations, I got a Shark steam mop in May.  I gave it a fair shot for the past few months, but I hated it.  My floor was worse than ever and streaky and sticky.  So I returned it and got a Hoover Floor Mate (mind you, these are not cheap tools).  I figured my floor is going to be a disaster for years...maybe not with food always (although sometimes Z is as bad as the little boys), but with dirt and mud and who knows what else.  So I am investing.  Point is, the Hoover has worked pretty well.  With the Shark I always had to preclean my floor, but the Hoover I have not had to do that.  It is not perfect, but it is relatively quick and does a pretty decent job...better than an oldschool mop, the Shark, or the Swiffer WetJet has done.  I don't think anything will replace my hands and knees...but I don't have time for that.

Here is the pile from the floor from just lunch and dinner...and the table...and the chairs (that I hadn't swept onto the floor yet). 

It sounded good...

This morning we decided to take all the boys down to Soulard Farmers Market.  I have actually never been (even though I grew up here!), and thought we might get some good produce. 
We took the wagon, and we had a great time.  The boys loved looking at everything, loved the musicians, loved the donuts we bought them.  And everyone else loved looking at them.  We played at the playground before we left.  It was a fun 2 hour trip, and it killed the morning. 
I got 3 lemons, a pound of green beans, 2 pounds of grapes, 3 boxes of blackberries, and 10 avocados for $10.  A great deal! 
We came home and made fresh lemonade and had fruit salad for lunch. 
And then I got a hankering.  Those avocados, mmmm....guacamole.  Mmmmm.....fajitas.  Mmmmm......sopapillas.  Mmmmm....margaritas. 
So I ran out to WalMart and got a few more ingredients, then came home to start working.   
The avocados were cheap because they were very ripe, and some were too ripe to even use.  No worries, I got enough for the guac. 
I found a good recipe for a fajita marinade, and it turned out good. 
I made yummy frozen margaritas, a very rare treat in our house.  I can probably count on one hand the number of times we have bought alcohol. 
I made the sopapillas, but messed up (I apparently didn't acutally read the recipe, I just kind of made it up).  Luckily I just added some more flour. 
But then it fell apart...thankfully the little boys had just gone down.
I haven't fried stuff in a looooong time.  So I am not a hot oil expert.  It was hard to keep the temperature right, so it was too hot, then not hot enough.  When it was too hot, the smoke detectors took turns going off.  Then we had to open the windows to try to air it out.  The first sopapillas ended up flopping in, resulting in hot oil down my shirt and pants (goodbye to those, now), on my face (OW!) and foot.  And they didn't even turn out great (I think my baking soda is too old, and since I kind of messed up the recipe...).
Bummer. 
At least dinner was good, as were my drinks.  Dessert might have been asking a little too much!