MIA

You might or might not have noticed that I haven't blogged in a looong time.  At least for me. 
So where have I been?
Pretty much the bottom.  Here is the synopsis...sorry, it's long, that's what you get when I haven't blogged or written in almost 3 weeks. 

Here is how we started out the bed transition.  Here is where I shared the "new plan".

That plan worked, for awhile.  They didn't like having their blankets taken away, so they stayed in bed.  But then they stopped caring.  So we would take away a blanket, then give them a swat on the second time.  But they stopped caring.  I would take blankets away, give them back, take them away, swat, give them back, take them away, swat...repeat, repeat, repeat.

So there had to be a final punishment.  It ended up being the pack n play in our bedroom.  At that point they would fall asleep. 

But the other two were still in the room. 

A few weeks ago I just had to cave and put them each in a separate room...one in a pack n play in our room, one in a pack n play in Z's room, one in their own room.  This was just at naptime.  And it meant the end of quiet time for Z, since he was still spending 45 minutes or so reading and hanging out in his room when the boys were napping.  Not a happy mama. 

This whole time they were doing ok at bedtime.  Not stellar, but ok.  I never had to remove them to the pack n play...removing the blankets and swats did the trick. 

But it got worse and worse, culminating in this:  C was asleep (an hour and a half after I put them in bed) and N and L were not.  I heard C start crying like he was hurt, and went back to find N and L beside his bed.  I take them and move them back to their beds, and L says, "N bite."  "What?"  "N bite C." "N, did you bite C? (while he was in a DEAD SLEEP?!)".  "Yup."

NOT a happy mama. 

The next night was a repeat...C got bit twice (biting...a whole different story...). 
Something had to give.  I was a complete train wreck, the kids were too...

So I called a friend of mine with twins and got her peapod tents.  Now two of the kids are tented in at night.  We even had to make some changes...we had to use clips to attach them to their beds so that they don't move all over the room, we had to twist tie the zippers shut...  I was hoping to let the third kid sleep on his bed, but I have had to put him in a pack n play.  I am on the lookout for a third peapod.  (Anyone, anyone?)

So that is the main gist of it.  I was so at the end of my rope I couldn't even write about it.  I felt like a failure (because I couldn't "make" them stay in bed), I was ready to get "quit" being a mom, I was mad at them (because they were being bad "on purpose"), I was exhausted (kids finally sleeping at 9, up at 6, napping for maybe an hour and half, Z with no naptime), I was feeling guilty for being mad at the boys, I was resenting the fact that I had triplets, I was jealous of anyone who had just one kid to deal with, etc, etc etc.   

The kids were exhausted so were acting out...fighting was increasing, all I heard all day was something like this:  "Mine!" "No, my truck!" "No MIIIINE!" "MIIIIIIIINE" WHACK (which might have been a hand, a foot, or a hard toy on a head) or CHOMP (someone biting the arm/back/leg of another, resulting in toothmarks on all of my kids).  And this made me more and more mad at them, which made me more and more mad at MYSELF, because I KNEW it wasn't their fault, that they were just tired, but I still was mad at them...

And then I was dealing with Z.  We were kind of putting Z up on a pedestal...Oh, Z, he did so good with sleeping!  He was such a good boy!  Well, of course he was!  And when we separate the boys, they do fine as well.  But really, they are not even 2.5 years old yet...they don't have that kind of self control...by themselves in a room with 2 friends?  And I wasn't willing to sit in their room and stew at them as they fell asleep (which I still don't like the idea of).

I think I don't give them/myself enough credit for the fact that they are TRIPLETS.  I have three stinking two year olds running amuk in my house.  Three of them.  Got that?  THREE.  I think I expect it to be just like it was with Z...and it's not.  It is a whole different ballgame.

The other major problem for me is that I just don't know what to do.  Up until now I have had a pretty good idea of how to deal with them.  It might have been hard (get three kids bottles and fed at the exact same time with one big kid running around needing his rear end wiped while I'm the only one home), but I KNEW what to do.  Now I just don't know.  I am doing a lot of trial and error and it is mostly error.  Things like this:  C and N woke up early from a nap.  Do I wake up L (in the pack n play) also, so that he is "tired" at the same time at night, or do I let him sleep because he is exhausted?  If I let him sleep, will he be the one to keep the others up tonight?  What to do?  And not knowing what to do is hard for me.  I like to have a plan.  It has been hard for me to just kind of make it up as I go...and I think it has been hard on the boys too...kids need plan/schedule/order.  And this house has been anything but that.

Long story short, I am pretty sure this has been the hardest 5 weeks so far of having these kids.  That said, I am hopeful.  I have pulled out of the pit.  I think that these peapods will work.  At least they will sleep.  That doesn't mean that life will get easier...but if they at least can sleep....

Ok, and now on to a lot more posts...we actually have been very busy the past few weeks, and I have taken lots of pictures, and will now show you the happy side of life :)  Because really, it is happy!