Playtime

The boys have turned a new corner in their play, and it has made my life so much easier!  I have taken off the gate to the basement, they can go outside to the backyard by themselves, and I have started leaving their bedroom door open.  I have begun to trust them in Z's room (as long as he is ok with it), so they can play in there.  They literally can go anywhere in the house (but not our room!). 

This gives them so much more freedom, and gets them out from under my feet.  C loves to play outside, so he sometimes will just go out on his own to play with the trucks.  L and N have become two peas in a pod, so they just run around talking to each other and it is SO STINKIN CUTE.  Z has been really good with them as well, and I often hear him say "C'mon, boys, let's go ______".  This is not to say that there are not fights, but it has just gotten easier in some ways.  This morning I even TOOK A SHOWER while they were all awake and not even watching a show...they were just playing in the basement.  And all hell did NOT break loose!

The boys favorite things to do are to play with Legos (either Z's small ones or the duplos), trucks/cars/dump trucks, Cars cars (Lightning, Mater, etc), and "cards".  We have some abc cards and some number cards made of hard construction paper type stuff (kind of indestructable) and they love to collect them and carry them around.  They take these toys all over and happily play.  It is pretty unbelievable.  I kind of love it.  But then I sometimes (SOMETIMES) feel kind of bad/guilty/lazy because I feel like I should be doing more with them...but they just don't need me the same way they used to.  They don't need constant supervision so they don't kill themselves/each other.  They don't need me all the time to play "with" them since they have learned to play on their own.  Very strange.  Clearly, they still need me...but differently. 

Z made them all "Indian" headbands while they put beads on pipecleaners.  (Doesn't this make me look like a good mom, crafting with my kids?)

These next few were during potty training boot camp, so they are in just undies. 

At first glance I thought L was happily smiling at me in this picture...but he was not.  That is a scream because N must have stolen his Lego.  See, I still have to do some referreeing. 

Z has been obsessed with Ninjagos.  Boys.  Sigh.  I have no clue what they really are, or who they are, or what they do, but he has them.  Guess who else likes them, if they can get close enough to them? 

 Z was playing computer games and the little boys were all enthralled.  Again, during potty training.  I didn't care WHAT they did as long as they weren't peeing on the floor. 

 Z has learned in school that there are several ways to read.  I can only think of 2 right now (but I think there are 3?) :  reading the words and reading the pictures.  He has taken to reading the pictures, and he likes to read to the boys.  I do not object to that at all! 

The boys love to play in their peapods now that I have opened up their room.  Here N is grinning out of his.  I have gone in their room to find 2 or even all 3 of them (and sometimes even Z!) in the one bed.  They pull trucks and toys in, and kick out their blankets.  The peapods have been an AMAZING purchase, but I am fairly certain that they will not hold up to my kids well enough to re-sell! 

   

11 Years

11 years ago today: 

Sigh...life was so easy...

And today to celebrate, we dealt with crabby, exhausted kids.  Nate mowed the lawn.  We drank margaritas.  We all watched Snow White.  After the kids were in bed I went out to pick up Steak N Shake and ate it while he went out to pick up Chinese.  And we watched an episode of 24. 

Life is good.  I wouldn't have it any other way.  I cannot imagine life without Nate, cannot imagine a person I would rather have by my side every single day.  Love, love, love that man, and love, love, love our life together...as crazy as it is!

Another milestone

The other day we were out running errands, and were about to head home.  Marbree was in town and had stopped at Panera, but her car needed a jump.  She called and asked us to come help, so we just headed up. 
She treated us to lunch, and we just walked in, got our food, and ate it like normal people (well, normal people with 4 small children). 
But here's the thing:  I had no advance notice, and had nothing with me "for" lunch.  No cups, no food, no bibs, no toys, no books, no nothing.  And it was fine.  The kids all ate happily (they were crammed in next to me in a booth, while Marbree and Z sat on the other side).  They talked and played and bounced and stayed on the bench (mostly) in the right place and weren't too loud or obnoxious.  We did leave a mess, but they weren't terrible.   
It is nice to be at that point now...where we can do stuff a bit more spontaneously.  See, it;s getting easier here....sort of!

End of an era

I have been having the itch recently to get rid of baby stuff, but I have been overwhelmed by it all.  Dad called a few weeks ago to offer to take stuff out to Jenny when he went out to visit, and a friend of mine is pregnant and needed a lot of my stuff, so I figured now was the time to just get rid of it all.  Kind of surprised that I felt that way, instead of sad, but man, I just wanted stuff out of my basement.  And since I was doing work for Jenny already, I might as well do it all at once.

So I started posting stuff on Craigs List.  I have gotten rid of an umbrella stroller, my single and double strollers, my jog stroller, 2 pack n plays, toddler swings, a carseat, plus various other big ticket toys.  It has been nice to pocket some of the money (to pay for more toys, swim lessons, and tball), and nice to see my basement get cleaned out.  Now the clothes, those are another story...but I am happy to pass them on to anyone who needs them, since it will save me from having to just donate them or decide to garage sale them. 

The thing that was the hardest on me was my triple jogger.  We used it ALL the time for over a year.  I sold it to another girl I know who has 10 week old triplet boys, so I feel good about that.  But as I drove off (I drove it up to her), I just started bawling.  It's hard to say goodbye to my sweet babies...fun to say hello to little boys, but I do miss those babies. 

Onward, onward, to big boys. 

Nate and I have been discussing recently our thoughts on the fact that we have three 2 year olds.  We came to the consensus that the first 2 years were exhausting physically (sleep-or lack thereof!-carrying them, fighting them, wrestling them, etc), but the next 2 years will exhaust us mentally and emotionally (tantrums, timeouts, hitting, disobeying, and training them).  I think the next 2 will be harder.  Maybe not.  Different, for sure. 

But then we have days like today....the little boys played for 45 minutes on their own this morning, with no intervening from me.  They pushed trucks around and talked and giggled, and didn't fight.  I worked on the computer and drank coffee.  And then after dinner, Z cleared the table, and I had left the gate open, and they all went back downstairs to play.  Happily.  Not fighting.  And I cleaned up dinner in peace.  It was almost like it wasn't my house!  So it could be good....but I still miss my babies. 

How it's done: discipline

After teaching high school and watching first hand how children who were not disciplined turned out, I knew that discipline would be a high priority for us.  Nate and I both had parents who were not afraid to discipline us, and Mom WAS that mean mom, and I am (now!) entirely grateful for that.  I also knew that I would rather discipline my kids now instead of try to when they were 13. 
For Z, the things we deal with most are backtalk and a "rude voice", along with "whining and complaining".  There is the occasional hitting or throwing or something else, but we are mostly past that.  For him, most often he ends up in timeout, or he will occasionally get some soap in his mouth.  We make sure that he understands what he did wrong, and make him say "Mom, I was wrong to use a rude voice.  Will you please forgive me?" (or whatever it was).  I'm not sure that this is the right way, but it is what we do. 
The little boys...wow.  This is what is difficult.  There are no books, to my knowledge, on disciplining and dealing with multiples.  I've looked.  It is a very different ballgame than with siblings of different ages, since they are all learning the same things at the same time.  Our biggest problems with them are hitting, biting, not sharing, snatching, and throwing.  I think that's it.  ;)  Before Christmas if they were snatching or throwing or not sharing we would simply say, "NO throw, that is not ok" or whatever.  For the biting and hitting though, there was one kid in trouble and one kid crying and the other kid in the middle.  I read somewhere that it is more important to deal with the hurt one first (so as not to give negative attention to the kid in trouble).  Didn't work so well, because by the time I got to the "bad" kid, he had no idea what on earth he was in trouble for.  So my method became to hug and snuggle the hurt kid, talking about how sad I was he was hurt and how sorry I was that his brother hurt him and how that is not nice, etc, and then hold the "bad" kid by the wrists as he flailed around screaming, occasionally turning to him and saying "No hit, it hurts, that is not how we treat brothers, no hit".  The third kid was normally trying to climb in my lap, and Z was bouncing off the walls.  Not pretty.  Not even sure if it was effective.  But it was something.  And when the kid was out of timeout, he had to go be "soft" to his brother and pet his head.  (Pretty cute.) 
Since January, though, I decided that they are old enough for an actual timeout for pretty much anything (biting, hitting, throwing, etc).  In our house, whoever is in trouble puts his hands on the wall (any wall, anywhere, that is the beauty of this) and stands there until I say he is done (30 seconds to a minute is all the longer the "bad" kid, me, and other kids can handle it). I started out having to hold his hands on the wall and hold him there, saying "no hit, you are in timeout" etc.  It has gotten better, but I certainly am not able to just say "go to timeout!".  The boys are a bit older now and while they still hit and bite, I feel like it has gotten better since the fall/winter, so I'm not having to calm the hurt kid down as much.  Actually, now that I think about it, I doubt it has gotten better, but they are more used to it, so don't scream and cry as much.  This is a major work in progress.  I have no clue what I'm doing.
Occasionally I do swat my kids, too.  I think mostly I do it if there is actual danger or if they are being totally disobedient and know it, or if I clearly need to make my point (climbing out of cribs!). 
I know this is going to be the hardest part of parenting.  It has gotten much harder with Z as he has gotten older, and with the little boys it is just hard to be consistent.  If one hits another, and the second hits back, do I discipline that?  What if one snatched but the other didn't care?  Hard to be consistent.  Again, I have no clue what I'm doing.  By the grace of God, my children will grow up to be kids who respect adults and obey directions, and are kind and loving to others.  That is my prayer for them.     

January pictures

We just kind of went through January, and it went by really pretty fast. And that is ok with me. January is historically my least favorite month of the year. It is long. Dark. Cold. Depressing. We are stuck inside in the basement. Nothing fun is on the horizon. Kids are sick. But this year, for whatever reason, it really wasn't so bad. And I am incredibly grateful.  Even though it has been snowy this January, I haven't felt trapped and bogged down and crabby the same way I normally do in January, so that is a huge blessing. But I still want it to be spring.


Here are a few pictures from this month.  I didn't really take that many because we really didn't do too much.

We got this toy from Andy and Emily for Christmas.  I wasn't sure at first how it would work out...if the boys would share or not. More often than not they don't share, but they have the rare occasion that they do.  The sharing/not sharing is becoming more and more of an issue...when they do share it is so awesome and so cute.  When they don't, it is so ugly and horrid! 

 The boys all LOVE apples, but only if they are whole.  How dare I cut them into slices!  Normally I can get one or two and they will all swap them and take turns gnawing on them.  The other day, though, they all managed to get one each while I was somewhere else (checking email, maybe?!).  I walked to the kitchen and they were all so proud of themselves, eating up their own apple, Z included.  This particular apple cracked me up because it was the size of his head, practically!

We got toddler search and find books from Mat and Marbree for Christmas.  One was Elmo, one was Handy Manny, and one was superheros.  The boys about go crazy over the Elmo one.  The other two they like, but Elmo...watch out.  C and L have gotten pretty good about finding the different things in the book (can you find the ball?  the boat?  the soap?  etc), and N just wants to point out "Melmo" the entire time.  Here Z is showing them how it is done. 

 The boys all love legos.  The little boys have even gotten the hang of putting the smallest ones together.  We don't typically let them play with them because Z would freak out, but if Nate is there too, all 5 of them will sit there and build.  Pretty cute. 

How it's done: meals

Have you seen the size of my kids?  Obviously, eating is not an issue in our house.  We grow 'em big. 

The boys are now able to get into their own chairs and buckle themselves in.  I will keep them in those booster seats as long as I can!  They have gotten pretty good at using spoons and forks...at least they know how to use them.  They don't always use them like they should, but they know how.  Just this week I started working with an open cup for them (instead of a sippy cup), with water only (because I'm not a moron).  If they dump them, they are done.  And they do dump them.  Typically it is on their plates when they get done or bored, but sometimes it is on the table, which makes for fun splashing.  Drives me nuts. 

I know that someday I will eat an entire meal and sit the whole time, but that time is NOT now.  I couldn't begin to guess how many times I am up during a meal.  That is the problem, when I am up, that is when the kids start to throw food to the floor or dump out cups or bang on the table or grab each others chairs or food.

They can be pretty cute at meals. Currently Z is sitting by N, with L and C on the other side of the table, and me and Nate at the ends.  L is into feeding C.  The other day, C wanted more black beans, but I told him he had to eat some chicken.  He kept saying "mo-mo-mo?" and I kept saying no.  Sweet L, he grabbed a bean off of his own plate and held it up to C's mouth.  C promptly ate it and the two of them giggled and repeated.  Great.  Cute, but really?     

The boys all have their colors that they always use.  We have the same brand of cup and plates, so N is always blue, C is green, and L is orange.  And if you accidentally give them the wrong plate or cup, they look at you like you have 3 eyes.  It does make it easy when I drop them off in the nursery, because they have known "their" cup for months, so I never had to label them. 

All the boys eat breakfast and lunch really well, and we rarely have problems with someone eating their meal.  You can't go wrong with oatmeal, cereal, muffins, waffles, pb&j, chicken nuggets, quesadillas, hot dogs, grilled cheese, and fruit.  But dinner...well, those boys don't always love what we have.  Not that I make food that is remotely strange, but they just don't want it.  C will always eat very well, and L does decently.  N is the worst (and the smallest, go figure).  He probably doesn't eat any dinner at all (not even a bite!) at least 2 nights a week.  I try to make sure that there is something that they will eat (applesauce, cottage cheese, fruit, carrots, beans, etc) so that they will eat something, but sometimes it doesn't matter, they are NOT going to eat.  And that is ok with me. I figure they will eat if they're hungry, and I am not in the business of making separate meals for separate kids.

They have also started to just throw their plates off of the table.  I don't love it.  I just recently made the decision that if it is thrown off, the meal (for that kid) is done.  I was giving them at least one more chance, but I am done with that. I have had some hungry, crabby kids, but it actually has slowed down the throwing a bit, and they certainly do eat well the next meal!  :) 

We eat at the same times every day...in case you didn't know it, we kind of live by a schedule.  It makes me happy, it makes them happy.  730, breakfast.  1030, snack.  1130, lunch.  100, nap.  330, snack.  530, dinner.  700, bed.  800, bed.  Those times are pretty sacred, but there is some wiggle room.  Sometimes we eat lunch as late as 12, or dinner by 550.  But rarely.  ;)

And that is mealtime!

How it's done: sleep

Thankfully, my kids are good sleepers.  They always have been. 

Z started going through phases when he was 2 where he would fight naps, and he finally gave up napping at age 3 (right when the little boys were born, great timing).  He still has an hour of quiet time every day, because I need it!  He goes to bed at 8 and is getting out of bed around 715.  A few months ago we got him a desk lamp that he has hooked on his bed, so after I give him kisses and pray with him, he leaves the light on and looks at his magazines and catalogs.  I think it is normally for 15-30 minutes, but I'm not positive.  In the morning I think he actually wakes up around 645, but then reads and hangs out until I get up around 715.  We have never had a problem with him leaving his room or wanting to sleep with us.  He has not yet had nightmares or been scared at night. 

The little boys are good sleepers too.  When they were around 3 months old and they were more on a schedule and sleeping in their cribs, and not just zonked out all the time, I had to decide what to do with them when one woke up crying.  For a week or two I would grab the cryer and put him in my room or another room because I didn't want him to wake up a brother.  That got old quickly, and at the advice of the girls in my multiples group I just decided to let them cry it out.  For a week or so, it was rough.  One would cry, I would go in and give him a paci, but another would wake up. Even if the first only cried for a few minutes, it would be enough to wake up another, or both.  But after a week or so, they slept through each other.  And now it is great.  If someone is wailing, the other two will (most often) sleep right through it, sometimes up to 45 minutes!!  If someone (or two) are laughing and talking, the other(s) will sleep through it. 

The boys go to bed at 7, and normally are asleep sometime before 730.  They get up at 715 also, but again, I think that they are all awake around 645, but they play and talk and giggle in their cribs until I go get them.  Every once in awhile someone will be crying in the morning, but it is rare. 

For naptime, I put them down at 1 (literally pop each one into their crib, say nite-nite, give them pacis and blankets, and walk out).  They sleep until typically at least 3, but sometimes as late as 4.  I only get them up when I hear 2 or more of them talking.  They have gotten used to just lying in their beds talking and giggling and waking up slowly. 

But, just like Z, just recently (a few weeks before they turn 2), they are starting to fight naps.  This month has been rough.  Luckily they are happy, not screaming, but they will sometimes talk and laugh and play until after 2.  N is the worst, and I heard him 3 days this week at 230.  And oh, it stresses me out.  Not the playing and laughing, but the fact that they are soooo crabby because they haven't gotten enough sleep.  N finally fell apart today, after 3 days of only an hour or so of naps.  He was a train wreck, and it made me so mad!  Thankfully they all took good naps today. 

I know that we will continue to fight naps, and that I will just have to deal with it.  But honestly, the (not) sleeping issue is the most frustrating thing for me as a mom, because I can't control it.  I can't MAKE them sleep, even when they need it. 

So far, they are still in their cribs, too.  I realize this era is about over, and THAT stresses me out.    I have seen C and L with their foot up and on the edge of the crib, so I know it is only a matter of time before they climb out.  I just checked, and Z climbed out first in February, but then didn't again until April, when we finally switched him to a big bed.  I would be amazed and grateful if we lasted that long.  And then to big boy beds...where they can get out at will...fight, play, scream, hit, laugh, bite, giggle, and destroy whenever they want....

Still here

I really am still here. 

It has been so busy, and I was still working on so many projects.  By the middle of last week, I finally felt like my head was a bit above water, and now I'm feeling good.  But blogging isn't at the top of my list...really nothing is.  I have been sitting and watching a lot of tv.  And that is really unusual for me.  But it was a long December, and the first part of January kind of wore me out too.

What was I doing? 

After family all left, I had to finish the calendars.  Those got done, ordered, and are now out to their owners.

We kept very detailed budget last year, so I took the first part of January to analyze it carefully and rework our budget for this year.  (I love that kind of stuff!)  I also decided to change all of our bills from one account to another, and apparently I don't save stuff well (which is also surprising).  It took a long time to track down some accounts, and then to set up and/or find accounts online.  (Sidenote:  Here's what drives me nuts...is a user name a name or an email?  And then, even worse, the password requirements!  One capital letter, a symbol, a number?  All letters?  What?!)  Point is, all of the accounts are settled, and I now am much more organized and have all the info together, and our budget is all set.  Now, to follow it...

My family (the 6 of us, Dad, Dena, Emily, and the 3 in Jenny's family) are going to go down to St. Petersburg this summer to see my grandparents (who live there full time).  Sooooo excited.  So we decided to rent a condo on the beach.  I took the job of finding one, since my family has the most specific needs.  That was a HUGE job!  We are not super familiar with the area, so had to find a general "beach" we wanted, then skim through the gazillions of rentals, email people, etc, etc.  We finally found a place and I am so pumped about it.  You will see more about that in about 7 months when we return...in the meantime, I will dream of white beaches and sunshine!

Then I wanted to do all the blogging about Christmas.  I think I did 8 posts?  And I still have one more Christmas to go, but I just didn't have it in me...it will get done. 

After I got those 4 big jobs done (the week after all the family left), I needed to get my house back to normal. I have gotten better at keeping my house up (you kind of have to with 4 kids!) and my schedule had hit the fan with all of our family in town.  So I took last week to get my house, chores, laundry, cleaning, etc back to normal.

Just this weekend, I have started feeling good, like I really am on top of stuff again.  I have a few projects still to work on (always), but nothing major.  My house is mostly clean.  I have meals planned and groceries in our house.  I am making plans to see friends and hang out with people I haven't seen in awhile. 

I will slowly come back to you, blog, and finish one last Christmas post, then start in on January.  There is a Magic House post.  A post on each of my boys.  Maybe even a bit of a "series" of how we do stuff here, so I will remember how my world ran with 4 small children.  The standard post of miscellaneous "life" pictures.  And those have to get done soon...February brings the boys birthdays...I will have a FIVE  year old and 3 TWO year olds!!!

Chaos

 

There is a LOT of chaos in our house.  I just happened to snap this picture, but it is soooo typical.  C getting the phone.  N up on the counter.  L getting who knows what out of the sink. 

Here are a few of the one time things that have happened this week alone, along with some of the other ongoing messes in my world...

• N dumped half a box of fruity pebbles out, luckily "into" a bowl. 
• C ate the leg off of an ornament Z made last year, then Z decided he should follow suit and ate the other leg off. 
• C and N got into a foil covered plate of Christmas cookies...right after we ate breakfast. 
• C finds a way to get to ANY "cra-ca" he can. 
• Z colored a friend of his green, "like Frankenstein" in a Christmas card picture. 
• Z threw a cup of water on N. 
• Craft supplies litter my floors.   
• Only 1/3 of my tree still has ornaments on it. 
• Books are torn to pieces and left all over the floors. 
• I have been having to clean up food prep stuff before the kids get out of their chairs, or they are sticking fingers in peanut butter, digging pickles out of jars, dumping chips into yogurt, etc.
• Silverware, pots and pans have been found in the living room, dining room, kitchen, and basement.  They would be in the bedrooms and bathrooms if the doors were open, but they MUST stay shut.  
• They can all get onto Z's top bunk...only one has fallen off so far. 
• C dumps baskets.  Just walk up, dump it out, and walk away. 
• More, but it's not in my head right this second...

I walk from one room to the next, saying, "N, get off the counter. Z, did you shut your bedroom door?  C, it is not snacktime, you may not have more food.  L, I can't read to you right this second.  N, quit stealing toys.  L, don't push him.  Z, we don't have modeling clay, soda bottles, and wooden skewers to make a bottle rocket right now.  C, don't dump that bucket!"  It is NONSTOP and exhausting.

 

I think it has gotten worse because we have been stuck inside (wintertime) for the past month or so.  It has really escalated in the past week.  The little boys have started fighting, especially hitting and pushing, like crazy.  Here is a typical situation: 

 

"Kid one, you may not crawl up on that.  Please get down."  Kid one looks at me, screams and yells in complaint, then looks around for the first kid he can find to take his anger out on.  First kid runs up to second kid and wallops him in the head.  Second kid looks up in surprise and sometimes hits back, but if the first kid has taken off already, the second kid looks for the third kid and hits him.  Third kid hits second kid, then shoves the first kid.  First kid shoves third kid.  Second kid hits first kid.  And on and on and on.  Multiple times a day.  There is screaming and tears involved also.  There often is biting.  Sometimes a kid has an object (say, a train) in his hand as he hits another kid in the head.  Sometimes the hitting is unprovoked.  Sometimes Z is involved...he might try to break it up, which makes it worse.  Or sometimes he is the one that provokes the hitting.  I am trying to think if one of the boys is worse than the others about this, but I don't think that there is.  N is probably the worst, but not always.  It is just a lot of hitting and pushing and crying and screaming.  End of story.  And when I think about it, or relate it to someone, it actually is pretty funny, but in the moment...ugly.

 

I haven't quite figured out how to discipline it.  Nate suggested discipling the first kid, but I don't always know who started it.  I always stop and discipline biting and hitting with an object.  I tend to ignore some of the other stuff, because I figure they have to learn to deal with each other.  Regardless, it is hard and ugly.  Thankfully, they don't fight like this with any other kids or with each other like this if we are not home.  Typical...worst stuff at home...but I prefer that, I guess. 

 

That's all I can say about that for the time being...it is a struggle here, but then we have good days...we'll learn.  More on the subject if/when I learn how to deal with it better! 

December fun

Here is a few random pictures....
Despite being sick, we have still had to go on with life.  That involves trains, cars, little people, books, legos, crafts, play-doh, science "mcsperiences", and all things scary.

This is how a LOT of our time is spent...fighting over something, resulting in hitting, screams, bites, crying, timeouts, temper tantrums and just general ugliness. 

Can you tell he was sick this day?