I have been having the itch recently to get rid of baby stuff, but I have been overwhelmed by it all. Dad called a few weeks ago to offer to take stuff out to Jenny when he went out to visit, and a friend of mine is pregnant and needed a lot of my stuff, so I figured now was the time to just get rid of it all. Kind of surprised that I felt that way, instead of sad, but man, I just wanted stuff out of my basement. And since I was doing work for Jenny already, I might as well do it all at once.
So I started posting stuff on Craigs List. I have gotten rid of an umbrella stroller, my single and double strollers, my jog stroller, 2 pack n plays, toddler swings, a carseat, plus various other big ticket toys. It has been nice to pocket some of the money (to pay for more toys, swim lessons, and tball), and nice to see my basement get cleaned out. Now the clothes, those are another story...but I am happy to pass them on to anyone who needs them, since it will save me from having to just donate them or decide to garage sale them.
The thing that was the hardest on me was my triple jogger. We used it ALL the time for over a year. I sold it to another girl I know who has 10 week old triplet boys, so I feel good about that. But as I drove off (I drove it up to her), I just started bawling. It's hard to say goodbye to my sweet babies...fun to say hello to little boys, but I do miss those babies.
Onward, onward, to big boys.
Nate and I have been discussing recently our thoughts on the fact that we have three 2 year olds. We came to the consensus that the first 2 years were exhausting physically (sleep-or lack thereof!-carrying them, fighting them, wrestling them, etc), but the next 2 years will exhaust us mentally and emotionally (tantrums, timeouts, hitting, disobeying, and training them). I think the next 2 will be harder. Maybe not. Different, for sure.
But then we have days like today....the little boys played for 45 minutes on their own this morning, with no intervening from me. They pushed trucks around and talked and giggled, and didn't fight. I worked on the computer and drank coffee. And then after dinner, Z cleared the table, and I had left the gate open, and they all went back downstairs to play. Happily. Not fighting. And I cleaned up dinner in peace. It was almost like it wasn't my house! So it could be good....but I still miss my babies.
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Rough
It has been a rough week over here. This is a hard job. So hard. Some days I just don't think I am up for it.
I wrote about the boys napping on Monday....
Tuesday no one napped. They spent an hour and 45 minutes escaping, getting swatted, playing, screaming, escaping, laughing, crying, getting swatted. I was back there every 2-5 minutes. I was exhausted. At an end. Didn't know what to do. Totally stressed out. Miserable.
The rest of the afternoon was terrible too. They were so tired. And they whined. And they crabbed, and fought, and screamed, and whined, and snatched, and whined, and cried. They were in bed at 6. They all fell asleep relatively quickly, but N was awake 45 minutes later screaming...which he did for 45 more minutes. (I have noticed he does that if he is overtired...he goes to sleep then is up after a sleep cycle for awhile). It was horrid. I was stressed out and wasn't able to relax at all, not even through the night and into Wednesday morning.
I asked some girls in my multiples group for advice, and got some good advice. Tuesday night and Wednesday I mulled around ideas, and finally decided to work hard core for a solid week at training them to stay in bed. I have always said that you have to work hard for a week before ANYTHING will take root in my experience (potty training, bottle weaning/cup training, pacifier removal, etc), but that if you work and are consistent, it will take a week. I don't know if that will be the case here, but I decided to try it for a week. I also got 2 crib tents from friends. To those who don't know, yes, it is sort of a baby cage. It is a netted dome that goes over a crib to prevent a child from escaping. So I will work for a week, and see where we're at.
I think I am anti-crib tent because I feel like my kids have beat me. I know this isn't true, and I know that life is just different with 3 kids at once, but I think that is my hangup with them. But, I have to adapt and accept what I have. So we'll see.
And I think my sanity is more important than whether my kids have "beat" me in this area. I was a train wreck the last 48 hours. I snapped at my kids. I doubted myself as a mom. I was sure I was not good enough because I didn't read enough, care enough, do crafts enough, play enough with my kids. I doubted myself as a wife...my house wasn't clean enough, I was dumping on my husband and not loving towards him, I didn't have dinner made.
Thankfully Wednesday they were exhausted and napped without escaping, and today they went to sleep pretty quickly as well, and no one tried anything wacky.
So we'll see where we're at in a week. I hope I am still sane.
I wrote about the boys napping on Monday....
Tuesday no one napped. They spent an hour and 45 minutes escaping, getting swatted, playing, screaming, escaping, laughing, crying, getting swatted. I was back there every 2-5 minutes. I was exhausted. At an end. Didn't know what to do. Totally stressed out. Miserable.
The rest of the afternoon was terrible too. They were so tired. And they whined. And they crabbed, and fought, and screamed, and whined, and snatched, and whined, and cried. They were in bed at 6. They all fell asleep relatively quickly, but N was awake 45 minutes later screaming...which he did for 45 more minutes. (I have noticed he does that if he is overtired...he goes to sleep then is up after a sleep cycle for awhile). It was horrid. I was stressed out and wasn't able to relax at all, not even through the night and into Wednesday morning.
I asked some girls in my multiples group for advice, and got some good advice. Tuesday night and Wednesday I mulled around ideas, and finally decided to work hard core for a solid week at training them to stay in bed. I have always said that you have to work hard for a week before ANYTHING will take root in my experience (potty training, bottle weaning/cup training, pacifier removal, etc), but that if you work and are consistent, it will take a week. I don't know if that will be the case here, but I decided to try it for a week. I also got 2 crib tents from friends. To those who don't know, yes, it is sort of a baby cage. It is a netted dome that goes over a crib to prevent a child from escaping. So I will work for a week, and see where we're at.
I think I am anti-crib tent because I feel like my kids have beat me. I know this isn't true, and I know that life is just different with 3 kids at once, but I think that is my hangup with them. But, I have to adapt and accept what I have. So we'll see.
And I think my sanity is more important than whether my kids have "beat" me in this area. I was a train wreck the last 48 hours. I snapped at my kids. I doubted myself as a mom. I was sure I was not good enough because I didn't read enough, care enough, do crafts enough, play enough with my kids. I doubted myself as a wife...my house wasn't clean enough, I was dumping on my husband and not loving towards him, I didn't have dinner made.
Thankfully Wednesday they were exhausted and napped without escaping, and today they went to sleep pretty quickly as well, and no one tried anything wacky.
So we'll see where we're at in a week. I hope I am still sane.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
A new definition of tired
When the boys were babies, I was tired. Physically exhausted. Like if I sat down, there was a very good chance I would fall asleep. And looking back, I wonder how I survived. I never went to bed for a nap before their last bottle, which meant I was rarely in bed before 1130 (I will always have fond memories of the short lived Conan OBrien show, as I watched that most nights while I fed/nursed them). I slept for a few hours, then was up to feed them again (230-330, followed by pumping and maybe a few quiet minutes online), then a few more hours of sleep and back up again at 630 or 7. Rarely did I take a nap in the day...there was too much other stuff to be done. And I was exhausted.
It finally slowed down (around 5 months or so, maybe?) and I got some sleep and the kids weren't mobile and curious and albe to mess with each other. And all was good. Not tired. A good year or so of not so tired. Tired, but not so tired.
But now, I'm just wiped out. Very, very different than it was early on. When I sit down, I just want to stare into space and not think. Now I'm not sleep deprived tired, but so tired from chasing, saying no, repeating myself. I'm tired from carrying kids (they're huge), temper tantrums, restraining kids in high chairs and carseats and wagons and strollers, redirecting. I'm tired from disciplining, cleaning up messes over and over, teaching kids to obey, keeping kids safe from each other and the world around them that they are so curious about.
And in another year, I will be tired from something totally different.
People often ask "wasn't that first year hard?" or "has it gotten easier?". I've heard several MOMs (moms of multiples) say "not easier, just a different." I totally agree.
I love my kids, though, and wouldn't trade them for a lifetime's worth of not being tired!
It finally slowed down (around 5 months or so, maybe?) and I got some sleep and the kids weren't mobile and curious and albe to mess with each other. And all was good. Not tired. A good year or so of not so tired. Tired, but not so tired.
But now, I'm just wiped out. Very, very different than it was early on. When I sit down, I just want to stare into space and not think. Now I'm not sleep deprived tired, but so tired from chasing, saying no, repeating myself. I'm tired from carrying kids (they're huge), temper tantrums, restraining kids in high chairs and carseats and wagons and strollers, redirecting. I'm tired from disciplining, cleaning up messes over and over, teaching kids to obey, keeping kids safe from each other and the world around them that they are so curious about.
And in another year, I will be tired from something totally different.
People often ask "wasn't that first year hard?" or "has it gotten easier?". I've heard several MOMs (moms of multiples) say "not easier, just a different." I totally agree.
I love my kids, though, and wouldn't trade them for a lifetime's worth of not being tired!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
I'm a better mom already!
I've been in kind of a funk for the past few weeks. Nate finally labeled what it was for me...burnout. Yup, it happens. I just got tired of my kids, I have been kind of crabby, not wanting to do anything, my house is a pit, going through the motions. I told him the other day I wished someone would come rescue me from my life. Not long term or anything, but get me out of here. I need a break.
When he finally diagnosed me, I felt guilty. Like I shouldn't be burned out...these are my kids. This is my life. I shouldn't need a break. "Great" moms do this all the time, they do more than me, and "they" don't need breaks (actually, this is sounding famaliar...yes, I did write a post like this a few weeks ago...see...it has been a few weeks). At any rate, I was feeling guilty. Not sure where this guilt is coming from, or where I got my picture of what the "perfect" mom is, but that is beside the point.
Nate left last night for a softball game, and he called while he was driving to tell me he was "going to rescue me". Yup, my Mother's Day present is to NOT be a mom for the weekend. Nate is taking the boys down to his parents house. He is leaving work early, driving down during naptime, and not coming back til after church on Sunday.
I felt kind of bad. I cried. I felt undeserving. I felt like a slacker. I felt like I was letting both my husband and my boys down by needing a break.
But then, Nate reminded me, "You will be a better mom and wife when you've had some time for yourself." (He was, in fact, quick to add that I already am a good mom and wife...that was not his point. His statement was encouraging.)
And he was right. In fact, I am a better mom today, knowing that this weekend I will have some "me" time. I loved my kids and played with them. I read books and talked and snuggled and tickled and joked and and taught and pushed on swings, and I smiled doing it. My attitude was just different. I also got some stuff done around the house...all the windows cleaned, swiffered under the couches, 7 loads of laundry done.
Just the knowledge that I have a break coming up is giving me a burst of energy, and some excitement for the everyday stuff. I know I'm a good mom, I know I'm a good wife. But I love the thought of some time for myself!
When he finally diagnosed me, I felt guilty. Like I shouldn't be burned out...these are my kids. This is my life. I shouldn't need a break. "Great" moms do this all the time, they do more than me, and "they" don't need breaks (actually, this is sounding famaliar...yes, I did write a post like this a few weeks ago...see...it has been a few weeks). At any rate, I was feeling guilty. Not sure where this guilt is coming from, or where I got my picture of what the "perfect" mom is, but that is beside the point.
Nate left last night for a softball game, and he called while he was driving to tell me he was "going to rescue me". Yup, my Mother's Day present is to NOT be a mom for the weekend. Nate is taking the boys down to his parents house. He is leaving work early, driving down during naptime, and not coming back til after church on Sunday.
I felt kind of bad. I cried. I felt undeserving. I felt like a slacker. I felt like I was letting both my husband and my boys down by needing a break.
But then, Nate reminded me, "You will be a better mom and wife when you've had some time for yourself." (He was, in fact, quick to add that I already am a good mom and wife...that was not his point. His statement was encouraging.)
And he was right. In fact, I am a better mom today, knowing that this weekend I will have some "me" time. I loved my kids and played with them. I read books and talked and snuggled and tickled and joked and and taught and pushed on swings, and I smiled doing it. My attitude was just different. I also got some stuff done around the house...all the windows cleaned, swiffered under the couches, 7 loads of laundry done.
Just the knowledge that I have a break coming up is giving me a burst of energy, and some excitement for the everyday stuff. I know I'm a good mom, I know I'm a good wife. But I love the thought of some time for myself!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Game Face
Last night I went grocery shopping by myself (Aldi and Walmart). This is what my "gotta get away" time has evolved into...8:00 on Saturday night, me grocery shopping by myself. Well, it is what it is. Anyway, as I was checking out, I was chatting with the woman in front of me and she asked me how many children I had. I simply said "four" instead of "a four year old and one year old triplets". I was amazed at how I felt saying it, not to mention her response...or lack thereof. She responded, "yes, you probably do enjoy your quiet evenings grocery shopping!".
It took me awhile to figure out why my simple answer meant so much to me.
It takes so much work to get out the door with all my kids. I do it all the time, because I hate to be cooped up. But it is work...8 pairs of shoes, 4 seatbelts, at least one crying child as we try to get out, normally an argument with Z during the loading (because he is dawdling), potty check, diapers, milk cups, snacks, getting the right stroller loaded for wherever we're going. And that is just if we have a quick errand to run...sometimes we have to get lunches packed, lunch seats in the car, backpacks...etc.
And the last thing I have to get, that I didn't consciously realize until last night, is my Game Face. It takes a lot of emotional energy to get out of the car sometimes.
When we go somewhere, the LEAST we get is stares. Sometimes those are kind stares, some smiling stares. Some pity stares, some crazy stares. Some curious stares, some laughing stares.
If I am in the mood for eye contact with people (sometimes I am not, so I just keep my head down and ignore the stares), then I get comments.
Most of the time we get kind comments, and over time, I have come up with my typical response... "God bless you! (He sure has!) You sure have your hands full (Yes I do!) What a great wagon! (Yup, we love it!) They are so cute! (We like 'em!) All boys? (Yup, 4 of them!). Were you planning on 3? (Nope, it was a surprise!--really, who "plans" for 3?!) So I guess you're done? (We do have a lot!--how is this your business?)" It is intentional that all of my responses end with an exclamation mark, and are said with a smile. All part of the Game Face (and part of my general attitude, as well). It just means I can't let my guard down while I'm out.
We have had a few negative comments, too. I don't have responses to these...how do you come up with those on the spot? Most of the time I am just so sad for the people saying it, and I realize that sometimes people just talk and don't think about what they're saying (I'm guilty of this too). "I thought my life was bad! I'm so sorry. I hated my one, I couldn't handle four. That's why I didn't want to use fertility drugs."
We also have gotten a few pretty funny comments. My two favorites? In the triple jogger, when the boys were wearing coordinating coats and matching hats, I had one woman say, "Huh. They almost look like triplets." That same trip, another woman, "So did you have them each a year apart?" (HUH?!)
We have also had people want to take pictures of us. Not quite sure about this...some people have just started snapping away, and some people have asked. Bizarre. Not sure what they want to DO with the pictures of my kids...really, you can just google triplets and you'll find some pictures.
Now, I am not saying I would not be amazed by seeing triplets either, if I didn't have them. I totally would be. So I am not in any way, shape, or form blaming people for staring at us (even if it is subtle) or for making kind comments to us. I do get annoyed when people make negative comments or ask personal questions, but again, I don't think that they realize what they are doing, so I don't really blame them.
So last night, I was normal. I was ordinary. I was just a woman with 4 kids...not a spectacular thing. I love my children, I would not have my life ANY different...but it was nice to be normal.
It took me awhile to figure out why my simple answer meant so much to me.
It takes so much work to get out the door with all my kids. I do it all the time, because I hate to be cooped up. But it is work...8 pairs of shoes, 4 seatbelts, at least one crying child as we try to get out, normally an argument with Z during the loading (because he is dawdling), potty check, diapers, milk cups, snacks, getting the right stroller loaded for wherever we're going. And that is just if we have a quick errand to run...sometimes we have to get lunches packed, lunch seats in the car, backpacks...etc.
And the last thing I have to get, that I didn't consciously realize until last night, is my Game Face. It takes a lot of emotional energy to get out of the car sometimes.
When we go somewhere, the LEAST we get is stares. Sometimes those are kind stares, some smiling stares. Some pity stares, some crazy stares. Some curious stares, some laughing stares.
If I am in the mood for eye contact with people (sometimes I am not, so I just keep my head down and ignore the stares), then I get comments.
Most of the time we get kind comments, and over time, I have come up with my typical response... "God bless you! (He sure has!) You sure have your hands full (Yes I do!) What a great wagon! (Yup, we love it!) They are so cute! (We like 'em!) All boys? (Yup, 4 of them!). Were you planning on 3? (Nope, it was a surprise!--really, who "plans" for 3?!) So I guess you're done? (We do have a lot!--how is this your business?)" It is intentional that all of my responses end with an exclamation mark, and are said with a smile. All part of the Game Face (and part of my general attitude, as well). It just means I can't let my guard down while I'm out.
We have had a few negative comments, too. I don't have responses to these...how do you come up with those on the spot? Most of the time I am just so sad for the people saying it, and I realize that sometimes people just talk and don't think about what they're saying (I'm guilty of this too). "I thought my life was bad! I'm so sorry. I hated my one, I couldn't handle four. That's why I didn't want to use fertility drugs."
We also have gotten a few pretty funny comments. My two favorites? In the triple jogger, when the boys were wearing coordinating coats and matching hats, I had one woman say, "Huh. They almost look like triplets." That same trip, another woman, "So did you have them each a year apart?" (HUH?!)
We have also had people want to take pictures of us. Not quite sure about this...some people have just started snapping away, and some people have asked. Bizarre. Not sure what they want to DO with the pictures of my kids...really, you can just google triplets and you'll find some pictures.
Now, I am not saying I would not be amazed by seeing triplets either, if I didn't have them. I totally would be. So I am not in any way, shape, or form blaming people for staring at us (even if it is subtle) or for making kind comments to us. I do get annoyed when people make negative comments or ask personal questions, but again, I don't think that they realize what they are doing, so I don't really blame them.
So last night, I was normal. I was ordinary. I was just a woman with 4 kids...not a spectacular thing. I love my children, I would not have my life ANY different...but it was nice to be normal.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)