When the boys were babies, I was tired. Physically exhausted. Like if I sat down, there was a very good chance I would fall asleep. And looking back, I wonder how I survived. I never went to bed for a nap before their last bottle, which meant I was rarely in bed before 1130 (I will always have fond memories of the short lived Conan OBrien show, as I watched that most nights while I fed/nursed them). I slept for a few hours, then was up to feed them again (230-330, followed by pumping and maybe a few quiet minutes online), then a few more hours of sleep and back up again at 630 or 7. Rarely did I take a nap in the day...there was too much other stuff to be done. And I was exhausted.
It finally slowed down (around 5 months or so, maybe?) and I got some sleep and the kids weren't mobile and curious and albe to mess with each other. And all was good. Not tired. A good year or so of not so tired. Tired, but not so tired.
But now, I'm just wiped out. Very, very different than it was early on. When I sit down, I just want to stare into space and not think. Now I'm not sleep deprived tired, but so tired from chasing, saying no, repeating myself. I'm tired from carrying kids (they're huge), temper tantrums, restraining kids in high chairs and carseats and wagons and strollers, redirecting. I'm tired from disciplining, cleaning up messes over and over, teaching kids to obey, keeping kids safe from each other and the world around them that they are so curious about.
And in another year, I will be tired from something totally different.
People often ask "wasn't that first year hard?" or "has it gotten easier?". I've heard several MOMs (moms of multiples) say "not easier, just a different." I totally agree.
I love my kids, though, and wouldn't trade them for a lifetime's worth of not being tired!
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