We went out last night (talk about bad timing) because someone had given us Brian Regan tickets, and we love him. I asked Emily to watch the boys. And the show was at 7. You know, bedtime. In the midst of bedtime hell. Thursday I called the guy to bail on the tickets, but he convinced me to go anyway (and suggested that HE watch my kids if I would feel better, which I declined, I figured the kids at least knew Emily).
This is one of the problems I have, good or bad. I am a bit of a control freak, and I like to do things on my own, and I don't want to burden people, or "need" people to help me. See how this is a problem in so many ways? I was this way before I even had the boys. And now that I have the boys, well, they are a lot of work. And while I trust people with my kids, I know it is a big job and a lot of work and quite honestly, pretty intimidating. And I don't want them to fall apart on someone else (who wants 3 screaming kids?). So I have pretty much managed to just have people watch them when it is "easy". They are in bed already, or it is from 9-11 am where they just have to manage playtime, or it is during naptime and they're asleep. No one has to deal with meals or bedtime or anything else. Just play with my kids or sit in a quiet house and make sure it doesn't burn down. Yes, this has made it difficult for us to go out, but I figure there is a time eventually when we can go out on our own, in a few years or so. But times do come up (like this) where I just want to go out.
So, naptime. I was a bit manic about the fact that the kids MUST nap. I had told Emily the kids could stay up late until we got home so she didn't have to deal with that chaos. I made cookie dough, ordered pizza, and they were going to get to watch all of Cars. We knew we'd be home around 9. But I wanted the kids to have a good nap so that they were ok and not train wrecks for Emily when they stayed up late.
So at naptime I ignored them for an hour, sat in there for 30 minutes until 2 fell asleep, then my pain in the rear (N) refused to sleep despite me lying there with him, etc. (This is the short, abbreviated, calm version).
Here is the text version to Jenny: I'm bawling my eyes out I'm so mad. I just don't know what to do. And I'm stressed because I want them to take good naps so they're ok to stay up late and not be train wrecks with Emily. And N never went to sleep and now woke up L. I just hate this. I hate sleep. Maybe from here on out I won't worry if they play the whole time but I don't want them to give up naps...but maybe the novelty will wear off? I know to give it time but I'm so tired and have wasted so many hours with this...I don't need an answer but I'm so so so mad. And now they're all up. Less than an hour of sleep and 1.5 hours of attempted sleep. And N no sleep. Good thing Nate has them now. I'm not sure I can be civil to them.
So Nate kept them and I ran to get milk, tomato plants, and a frappaccino. ;)
On our drive after we had left the boys, my sweet husband tells me (very kindly): Babe, I think you're a bit too tightly wound about this. I think you just need to shut them in the room from 1-3 and leave them be. If they sleep, great. If not, yes, it will be ugly. I think the fun will wear off. Shut them in again from 8-7. They can't open the door. The sleep WILL come. And I know I won't be around for a lot of it, but I think this is the best thing to do.
And I agreed.
We had a good time seeing Brian Regan, he cracked us up and relaxed me a bit. And the boys were FINE for Emily. They watched Cars, then she said, "ok boys, time for bed!" and off they all walked and laid down in their beds. She left the door wide open, N cried about something once, and that was that. (PUNKS!!!! But I would so much rather them treat her well!)
So today I shut them in their room. I turned on the sound machine in my room and the attic fan in the house, and I took a nap. I heard screaming off and on (mostly on) for about an hour and a half. No more playing and giggling...they are exhausted. I am pretty sure that no one can get hurt in there, but you never know. It finally got quiet, and I peeked in to see this. L is in N's bed (not even his own!) and N is jammed up against the door again.
I KNOW that this will pass. Of course they will learn to sleep again. When I first started letting them cry it out with the other two sleeping, it was a rough week. But now they can sleep through anything. I know that they will learn to do this. I know that we have to get a week past this and we should (Lord, please) be ok. The pacifier deal is over, but now it is beds. And to be honest, this (bed transition) has been the biggest, scariest thing on the horizon for me (beyond the very early days of three infants). And here we are. And it will be over soon. And then there will be nothing scary on the horizon...unless you count potty training....!
Hey Katie, I want to tell you that the bed transition was the scariest for me too when Wren transitioned to a bed. I seriously cried about it for several days before we did it! I just felt like I wasn't ready for him to move into a bed but he had fallen out of his crib and was honestly just too big/tall for his crib. And I won't sugarcoat it; it was a months-long transition and SO IRRITATING! But it's true, you will get through it.
ReplyDeleteI was reading one of the Louise Bates Ames books (I think the one on three year olds) that said how routine things are terrible and how they act terribly, especially towards "MOTHER" and that you should get help at times like BEDTIME from other people and I was just thinking that if they did well for Emily, maybe you should have her or someone else come and put them to bed for a week or something! You could pay them! Maybe it would help transition.
Another thought: video monitor? I'm not really into them myself but several friends have one and maybe you know someone who would even let you borrow one during this time when you're shutting them in? Cuz shutting them in does sound like a great idea but you do always wonder when it's so quiet in there... :)
Please forgive all this unsolicited advice; I don't think I usually do a lot of that but just trying to share my thoughts! Take what you like and throw out the rest!
Be strong! :)
Oh my gosh Katie, we transitioned a few months ago and frankly the first few weeks were HELL. After that, night time goes pretty good (knock on wood)and they all fall asleep pretty quickly. But naps still suck. I don't think I can possibly take anything else out of their room that they could get into, but they find something nearly every day (including their diapers and their poop). It is very frustrating. We recently had to hire a new sitter (I work from home 2-3 days a week) and the boys don't make a peep for her. WTH! She said all she does is sit in there for a few minutes and they fall asleep. It's just not fair...they still fight me for hours! Why is it that kids give the people that love them most all the grief? Anyway, sorry to rant, but we seem to always be going through the same things and it is nice to know you are not alone!
ReplyDeleteMisti
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