There is a little boy in our neighborhood who sometimes comes over to our house. It is a situation that we have dealt with for about a year now. He would just ride over on his bike to play. I never heard from mom, and had to look up where he lived. It made me kind of nervous...I didn't know him, or mom, or family, or anything...and I didn't love just sending him on home and not knowing if he made it...And he started showing up often and right as we were getting ready for dinner...so finally I contacted mom and we talked a bit. It was just kind of strange.
It hadn't happened in awhile. Then today he showed up about 530 and the kids let him in and they played. Nate gave the boys each a "manbat" Lego minifig before he left for Mexico and the kids have not put them down. Z excitedly showed off the manbat, and they went off to play. Z put it down on the train table when they went to go "fight" and jump on the downstairs bed. Then, suddenly, the friend was upstairs saying he was going to leave. It was very abrupt. He yelled goodbye to Z (who was still in the basement) and walked out.
Not 10 seconds later I hear Z wailing. He came upstairs and I heard him wailing in the Lego room. I ask what the problem is, and he can't find his manbat. I look out the window to see the kid riding his bike away.
My mom gut told me right then that the boy had taken the manbat.
However, we looked. I had Z tell me step by step what he did and where he thought he left it (but he was positive where he had left it, and I knew he probably was right, judging by how closely he has guarded it over the past 24 hours). Regardless, we looked and looked. We tore up the basement and the Lego room.
At this point, I'm steamed. I asked several times if Z had loaned it to the boy, or if the boy might have thought Z let him borrow it. Z insisted he didn't.
The entire time I was texting back and forth with Jenny to get some ideas (since Nate is in Mexico!!!). I finally texted the mom and asked if maybe he accidently took it, or it ended up in his pocket on accident...?
Turns out that he had it. She apologized, and we ran over to get it. I went up to the door and she apologized again, and I tried to say it was ok but she shook that off, and made it pretty clear that it was no accident. The boy apologized to me, and we went home.
To top it off, this all went down at 615. We didn't eat until almost 7. Kids were falling apart, I was stressed to the max, worried about texting the mom, Z was bawling...yikes. We didn't get out of showers until 730...oh well.
Ugh. It was ugly.
Things we discussed over the 2 hours between when this happened and bedtime:
Stealing. Clearly. While Z doesn't know for sure that this boy stole it, he has an idea. We discussed how it might have been an accident, like I sometimes forget where I put my phone (oh, man, it's in my pocket, who knew!). It also might have been intentional. We talked about how it hurt Z, and how stealing hurts SOMEONE, always.
Discretion. Z thought he might put this in his weekend news that he shares with his entire class (this boy is in his class). Um, NO. We talked about how it would hurt him and make him embarrassed. I told Z he could tell no one, and that he shouldn't even bring it up with the boy again.
Forgiveness. While the boy didn't actually apologize to Z, I told Z that we still needed to forgive him, because he is still learning too, and God asks us to forgive him. That said, I still did tell Z that this friend would be an outside friend from now on. (Because we're not called to be fools!)
Judgement. Z wanted to ask him if he stole it (I suggested NOT). I reminded him that it didn't matter whether he did or not, because it wasn't our place to deal with it. That was between this boy and his mom...not us.
Sin in general. We talked about how not stealing is one of God's big rules, because it hurts people. We know not to steal, and it is "easy" to not steal. However, respecting parents is another rule, loving others (and God) is the greatest command...and those rules are much easier to break. We talked about how that hurts God (or mom, dad, brothers) just as much as Z was hurt when he thought his manbat was stolen.
Choosing friends. Z didn't actually choose this friend, and never has, but has played with him when he came over. I told Z that this is why I almost nightly pray for wisdom for Z in making choices (about friends, decisions, whatever). It is important to make good decisions, especially about friends and who we want to be around.
Mom and Dad are on your side. When I went to tuck Z in, he simply said, "Mom, thanks for helping me." It about melted me. I told him I would always be on his side, and would always stick up for him, and all the boys...in fact they all heard me say that, and all started talking about being on the same team.
Wowsers. It was a lot. But we got through it...I hope.
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